The CATastrophy

I woke up this morning, with an extra spring in my step, yet my mood soon became clouded with the thought of taking Pixie over to get her tummy tuck (aka, spaying). I felt so guilty, I nearly took a little white pill to calm me down. The dread, the thought of my little cutie pie going through such a traumatic experience, I can't just imagine. My little bunny.

I had it all planned. Wake up extra early, allow about 45 minutes to gently coax my little minx into the carrier using her favorite feather toy, feed the other babies, and be on my way to the shelter that sponsored Spay Day. Ahhh what a nice little plan...

Here's the result of the @%$&*@$ plan...

My house is literally upside down. I mean, I had to split the sectional, both parts are upside down right now (she was hiding for a while inside the armrest, yeah, the actual INSIDE of it…), my bed has been completely dismantled (maybe she was hiding inside the box spring). At one point, I thought I had maybe accidentally smothered her, as the mattress folded onto itself as I was removing it --- it's a very heavy tempurpedic...

I’ve got the kitchen chairs all over the place (we did a little Benny Hill routine between the living room and the kitchen for the first hour or so), the fridge has been pulled away from its area (there's a space underneath it by the motor where kitties can hide, but usually don't), cabinets were open and closed numerous times as I became more and more frantic, also looked on top of the kitchen cabinets, as one of the other cats seems to deeply enjoy the view, the sofa cushions are
all over the living room, as are the fancy pillows...

My duvet, bedsheets, pillows are somewhere between the wing chair and the floor in the bedroom...The two storage bins I keep under the bed are on their sides with some of the contents spilled onto the carpet, the cat food is in the bathroom
(I know, it’s just where it ended up during the Great Chase)...

But finally, 2 calls made to the shelter (one explaining I couldn't find my cat, and no, she's not an outdoor cat, well, she's tiny and black, can hide anywhere in a one-bedroom condo...a giggle or two in the background...second to say that after only 3 HOURS, I had caught the little stinker).

I left the house without feeding the other two cats (I had to remove all food the night before, because Pixie wasn't allowed to eat prior to surgery), my face completely red, my hair all disheveled, 3 very VERY upset kitties (all traumatized forever, and I'm sure, already planning the next attack on yours truly), my potty mouth needing a good cleaning (I think at one point, I actually called them all bitches), and a vow to never let these three cookies boss me around (yeah, ok, like that's EVER going to change).

War on Poo - Part II

The war against poo continues...Neighbor is letting his dog poop in the common area. I had no choice but to tattle tell...Here's my letter to property maintenance sans graphic photos and videos:

Hi Rhonda*:

I had recently contacted your office regarding the laundry facilities and the detached railing on the back of Units X3/X4. Thank you so much for the swift reply. I am sure you were notified that the area by the railing was filled with dog excrement, which was all cleaned the day the railing was also removed.

I had recorded the “gifts” that were left there (videos 65 and 66 below), as I had planned on reporting it, until the area was subsequently cleaned. I was sure the culprit would have gotten the “clue”, but unfortunately, it started up again. There are two new piles of feces, same area – back of Units X3/X4 - see photo 1 and photo 2 attached.

I cannot say with 100% certainty that the offender (the condo resident that is, not the dog as it does not know any better) lives in Unit X6 (I’m sure the guy’s lived there for over a year, but I’ve never noticed anything like this before, and I walk through the back every day), but do know, when it snowed, the foot/paw traffic led a very clear path between our units.

Aside from that, I did see the owner with his dog coming out of his unit, by the time I picked up my garbage to take it to the dumpster (as a pretense to catch them in the act), a new present had been created and both the guy and his dog were back in the house. Dog was way faster than I was.

Finally, I heard a dog barking and it seemed very close to my living room window (front of building), I turned on the outdoor light, and there he was with his dog. The next morning, I went outside to see if there was anything on the ground, and ta-dah --- his dog’s latest sculpture. That’s when I realized he’s been letting the dog defecate in the front of his unit as evidenced by the decomposing and the recent artistic displays (video 67).

I don’t want him to ruin it for the rest of those who own dogs and are very much responsible when it comes to picking up after their pets.

Incidentally, I also noticed one of the shutters had detached from one of the windows when we had those strong winds (video 68). I placed it by my plant pots/bushes in front of my unit.

Thank you,

Fruity Ana*

* names and places changed to protect the victim (moi)

Errr Watching The Bachelor

OMG, why do I punish myself? Just watched the Bachelor. Is this how dating goes? You're having a conversation, and all of a sudden, you stop in order to swap saliva? Seems so staged. But yes, I'll be watching again next week, for more awkward scenes. Ahhh, something to look forward to, when I begin dating. Hmmmm. Maybe later.

New Curtains for the Chamber of Horrors (Le Bedroom)

Uhhh one curtain or two??? I can't decide. O that's Sushi. He is a camera hog. And ahhh, yes, that would be a Christmas garland on my dresser. I am a firm believer in leaving holiday decorations up until I feel like it.

Hopefully, that will be before March, because the tree is starting to look a little like a party girl who had waaaaay too much to drink.

The Return of the Bottle Cap

Someone's messing with me. I tossed that bottle cap yesterday. This morning, it was back again. WTF. Same place, right next to the windshield wipers. Did I misspell wipers?

Freaky stuff.

Hurting Butt

According to a recent article, experts are now saying that sitting for extended periods of time can be deadly.

No worries, I've got an easy solution!!! How about if we alternate butt cheeks while sitting? That would totally cut the risk by approximately 50%, plus the exercise from shifting your body weight from one cheek to the other would probably eliminate the harm altogether.

Gosh, I'm so smart.

Ahhh Flip This Cap Buddy

Someone left a beer bottle cap by my windshield wiper. Found it this morning. Perverts.

Thought of the Day - Twilight Saga

I'm now on book 4 of the Twilight Saga. In the third book, I wrestled between my love of "Edward" (although he always looks constipated in the movies), and my new found fondness for "Jacob" (the muscles did it).

Since then, I've been trying to decide if I was team "Edward" or team "Jacob". Then I realized, why settle? I am now team "Edward" + "Jacob". Nothing better than a tall glass of milk with some hot apple pie, am I right ladies? High five.

Breakfast

The buttered roll I got from the cafe downstairs at work was pretty disgusting. Clumps of old butter smeared on a roll...Half of it was inedible...unedible...ah crap...this brain fog thing isn't good...can't spell anymore. Inedible? Ahhh feck it...the bread was not eatable. ehehehehe.

Pumpkins

My company is having a departmental pumpkin-carving event for Halloween. My first thought: "they are going to give us knives???"

A Bag in My Hand

I decided to go to the mall yesterday. I'm strolling around JCFanny's (name changed to protect its identity) one minute, the next, I've got red lipstick smeared all over my lips, and a bag of goodies in my hand. Yep. That's how fast it got me.

Ok, fine, I ended up in Semora (again, identity thingy), which is right in the JCFanny's. I was just browsing, maybe getting some ideas on what makeup to wear for a work-related event/trip. I decided to go all wild for the evening portion, and go for red lips.

Gotta practice applying the color, because it can go wrong very fast, ehehehe

Sushi Attacks Again

Sure, go ahead, kitty cat, it's not like I loved that neat little shopping bag that I bought in Portugal with my sister. Nah. Don't need it. Keep using it as a scratching post. Looks grrrrreat!!! You are truly an artist, Sushi.

Simmering Potpourri!

I can't help it! Newest experiment? Simmering potpourri. Smells good enough to drink! Lemon, cinnamon, cloves, ahhh lots of goodness.

An Ode to Me! Auntie Patricia (yep, also me)

Sooooo what makes a lovelier gift from Auntie Ana (known by my middle name, Patricia, in my family), than a picture of me on a onesie for future nephew/niece to parade in? Will be mailing this puppy to my sister this week.

Ah yes, almost forgot to mention there is also a dedication to my singlehood. Here is the piece of art, with the translation underneath. It's advertising at its best!



"my auntie adores me! Auntie Patricia: scorpion, enjoys walks at home, origami, and having intellectual conversations with cats." I'm sooooooooooooo going to be the best aunt ever!

Ahh Dreaming of Eggplant & Goat Cheese

I'm still dreaming of that eggplant and goat cheese sandwich. It was magical.

Lovely Sunday

Very sweet Sunday! I met with friends, a mix of former and current co-workers. We talked about what's going on in our lives, work, our lovely pets...It was really great seeing them. They looked wonderful, as usual, which makes me think I must be doing something wrong, because I've been feeling and looking a little "off" lately. Can't even blame it on the recent sinus infection (or can I? hmmmmmm)

I had an eggplant and goat cheese sandwich. Holy crap! It was delicious!

I'm an Auntie!!!

Ok, got a call from Sis at 7:00 AM. I was confused because that girl rarely calls, so I wasn't expecting to hear from her. She said she was three months pregnant! There was only a little complication with the placenta, but it's all better now.

I hope all goes well, since it didn't the first time around. I'm really excited, I just wish I could be there for her throughout the whole pregnancy and, well, after. It would be nice if I had a little pumpkin of my own, so they could grow up spending summers together. Ah, well. I'll just make do with my kitties for now, and the anticipation of being this baby's favorite aunt, ehehehe

Comedy Night!!!

Tina, Angela and I went to see stand-up comedy at Pax Amicus Castle Theatre in Budd Lake (NJ); a "Battle of the Sexes" featuring Mark DeMayo, Jodi Weiner, Ophira Eisenberg, and (sorry to the guy, but I can't quite figure out his last name...) Chris Spears, Spires, Mike??? He was funny, just can't remember his name!

We had seen Mark before (he's kinda sweet lookin'), but on TV. Part of Jodi's routine, I have seen it with Lisa Lampanelli, although not live like tonight (the penis between the boobs effect translated into microphone hitting the chin?), so that was a bit disappointing. Overall though, a great experience, YAY!

The Other White Meat

Yesterday, while enjoying my second hand smoke outside my office building, I felt a little something hit my ankle. I thought it was a nice, dried leaf. Nope. I was viciously attacked by a big, chunky, light green insect.

No injuries, thank goodness, but I'm left worrying about how my being so delicious is attracting the wrong kind of animal.

Ana, the other white meat. Yummers.

Keiko

My friend Nat just told me her Siberian Husky, Keiko, passed away before she left for vacation. He was barely 10 years old! Such a beautiful dog, very furry, prettiest blue eyes you've ever seen. I am so sad.

Of course, this makes me think of my little foofies. I don't know what I'll do when they pass away. In the meantime, I better get going, and try to stop Sashimi from licking my nail file. Just...don't ask.