This entry is going to be more of a public announcement, and is addressed to the young, handsome, Randolph A&P shopper, who was wearing a black shirt, and blue jeans this afternoon:
Mr. A&P Shopper,
Although you are kind of cute, what you did between the meat and dairy sections is totally unacceptable. Picking your ass in public is kind of distasteful as it is, but totally digging up there where the sun don't shine for like 10 minutes, well, that was just tacky.
Based on your looks only, I would have given you a 7 (scale of 1 to 10). If you had been discrete, like most of us are, then I would have only discounted a little point or two. However, because you practically forced your fingers up your bum like it was the Spanish inquisition, I am going to knock you down to a 3. I'm truly sorry, shopper. But I'm even more regretful for your rectum.
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