Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Let's see...Sunday, soon-to-be-ex and I went to a diner for lunch, and then followed the memorable meal with a trip to Toys-R-Us. I wanted to get Skip-Bo, a fascinating card game I had just learned how to play two days before, with my friends Angela and Tina.

Within a few minutes, we located the game, and proceeded to the checkout counter. Now, T-R-Us are a huge pain in my behind, because they have their cashiers ask for our phone numbers for their mailing list. I've been through this crappola before, where I refused to give my number out, and the girl got all bent out of shape, and actually told me that I had to give her the number. Pardonnez-moi, little f*ck?

Anyhoo, this time I wasn't going to create a scene. I would give out a fake number (sorry to the people who actually have that number...I recently learned that you can just say "unlisted" and that will be the end of it). The idea occurred to me so rapidly and I just blurted the number out, without realizing the enemy was right next to me.

I gave out my cell number xxx-xxx-6247. Last two digits were incorrect. Imagine the horror when soon-to-be-ex blurts out "what number did you give her?", "my cell phone number", I replied. And the conversation went something like this:

soon-to-be-ex: "that's not your cell phone number"
me (annoyed look): "yes, it is"
2-b-Ex: "no, what's wrong with you, that's not your cell number"
me (frozen smile look): "yes, it is"
cashier catches on to my little game: "it's ok"
soon-to-be-dead ex: "you gave her the wrong number! There's no 47 in your cell phone number"
me (clenching my teeth, ready to introduce my foot to his left butt cheek: "no, that's my cell phone number"
asshole (speaking to the cashier): "she gave you the wrong number"
cashier: "it was just for the mailing list, that's ok"

We weren't even out of the store yet, and I just had to blurt out a "there's no 47 on my cell phone... are you slightly retarded???? Didn't you see me give you a dirty look?" [mockingly] "huh huh there's no 47 huh huh..."

I just didn't want to get more junk mail, geeeeeeesh. In 10 years of marital bliss, you would think he would know the fake smile by now...