Another Turd Alert

I guess it's something that never goes out of style...a co-worker "missing" the toilet. Here's a message I sent out to some of the ladies at work (I do value their well-being):

TURD ALERT … TURD ALERT … TURD ALERT

Alert Level: brown

Location: first stall, ladies room

Status: uncomfirmed (sorry, even with contacts I can’t identify suspect 100%)

MO: inconspicuously positioned to the left side of porcelain goddess; proceed with caution, and avoid stall numero uno at all costs