Thought of the Day - Twilight Saga

I'm now on book 4 of the Twilight Saga. In the third book, I wrestled between my love of "Edward" (although he always looks constipated in the movies), and my new found fondness for "Jacob" (the muscles did it).

Since then, I've been trying to decide if I was team "Edward" or team "Jacob". Then I realized, why settle? I am now team "Edward" + "Jacob". Nothing better than a tall glass of milk with some hot apple pie, am I right ladies? High five.

Breakfast

The buttered roll I got from the cafe downstairs at work was pretty disgusting. Clumps of old butter smeared on a roll...Half of it was inedible...unedible...ah crap...this brain fog thing isn't good...can't spell anymore. Inedible? Ahhh feck it...the bread was not eatable. ehehehehe.

Pumpkins

My company is having a departmental pumpkin-carving event for Halloween. My first thought: "they are going to give us knives???"

A Bag in My Hand

I decided to go to the mall yesterday. I'm strolling around JCFanny's (name changed to protect its identity) one minute, the next, I've got red lipstick smeared all over my lips, and a bag of goodies in my hand. Yep. That's how fast it got me.

Ok, fine, I ended up in Semora (again, identity thingy), which is right in the JCFanny's. I was just browsing, maybe getting some ideas on what makeup to wear for a work-related event/trip. I decided to go all wild for the evening portion, and go for red lips.

Gotta practice applying the color, because it can go wrong very fast, ehehehe

Sushi Attacks Again

Sure, go ahead, kitty cat, it's not like I loved that neat little shopping bag that I bought in Portugal with my sister. Nah. Don't need it. Keep using it as a scratching post. Looks grrrrreat!!! You are truly an artist, Sushi.

Simmering Potpourri!

I can't help it! Newest experiment? Simmering potpourri. Smells good enough to drink! Lemon, cinnamon, cloves, ahhh lots of goodness.

An Ode to Me! Auntie Patricia (yep, also me)

Sooooo what makes a lovelier gift from Auntie Ana (known by my middle name, Patricia, in my family), than a picture of me on a onesie for future nephew/niece to parade in? Will be mailing this puppy to my sister this week.

Ah yes, almost forgot to mention there is also a dedication to my singlehood. Here is the piece of art, with the translation underneath. It's advertising at its best!



"my auntie adores me! Auntie Patricia: scorpion, enjoys walks at home, origami, and having intellectual conversations with cats." I'm sooooooooooooo going to be the best aunt ever!

Ahh Dreaming of Eggplant & Goat Cheese

I'm still dreaming of that eggplant and goat cheese sandwich. It was magical.

Lovely Sunday

Very sweet Sunday! I met with friends, a mix of former and current co-workers. We talked about what's going on in our lives, work, our lovely pets...It was really great seeing them. They looked wonderful, as usual, which makes me think I must be doing something wrong, because I've been feeling and looking a little "off" lately. Can't even blame it on the recent sinus infection (or can I? hmmmmmm)

I had an eggplant and goat cheese sandwich. Holy crap! It was delicious!

I'm an Auntie!!!

Ok, got a call from Sis at 7:00 AM. I was confused because that girl rarely calls, so I wasn't expecting to hear from her. She said she was three months pregnant! There was only a little complication with the placenta, but it's all better now.

I hope all goes well, since it didn't the first time around. I'm really excited, I just wish I could be there for her throughout the whole pregnancy and, well, after. It would be nice if I had a little pumpkin of my own, so they could grow up spending summers together. Ah, well. I'll just make do with my kitties for now, and the anticipation of being this baby's favorite aunt, ehehehe

Comedy Night!!!

Tina, Angela and I went to see stand-up comedy at Pax Amicus Castle Theatre in Budd Lake (NJ); a "Battle of the Sexes" featuring Mark DeMayo, Jodi Weiner, Ophira Eisenberg, and (sorry to the guy, but I can't quite figure out his last name...) Chris Spears, Spires, Mike??? He was funny, just can't remember his name!

We had seen Mark before (he's kinda sweet lookin'), but on TV. Part of Jodi's routine, I have seen it with Lisa Lampanelli, although not live like tonight (the penis between the boobs effect translated into microphone hitting the chin?), so that was a bit disappointing. Overall though, a great experience, YAY!

The Other White Meat

Yesterday, while enjoying my second hand smoke outside my office building, I felt a little something hit my ankle. I thought it was a nice, dried leaf. Nope. I was viciously attacked by a big, chunky, light green insect.

No injuries, thank goodness, but I'm left worrying about how my being so delicious is attracting the wrong kind of animal.

Ana, the other white meat. Yummers.

Keiko

My friend Nat just told me her Siberian Husky, Keiko, passed away before she left for vacation. He was barely 10 years old! Such a beautiful dog, very furry, prettiest blue eyes you've ever seen. I am so sad.

Of course, this makes me think of my little foofies. I don't know what I'll do when they pass away. In the meantime, I better get going, and try to stop Sashimi from licking my nail file. Just...don't ask.

Dhalias

O I'm so utterly happy that I planted a couple of dahlias this year . Just look at this beauty!!! It is bigger than my face.

Pixie, the Ribbon Robber

Pixie, that little minx...I was playing with a long ribbon, throwing it around, watching her try to catch it. The little foofie ran off with it. Twice.

The Salt Water Cleanse

Ah, why do I get myself into these little experiments...Because they are fun to try out, of course! Latest one? The Salt Water Cleanse. Basically, you boil a little of water, add two teaspoons of non-iodized salt (already use it for my neti pot sessions), and "flavor" it with lime juice. Bottoms up!

First sip, hmmm ok, not too bad! Second sip, hey, whaaat, ggeeeeesh, sooo salty!!! And it all went downhill from there...between the gagging, the nose holding, chewing gum to offset the taste, I was getting mighty desperate.

Gargled with a little vodka thinking it would numb my tastebuds (ahhh eeek), still as vile of a mix...

Gahhhhh, gag, gahhhh, gaaaaaghhhhhhh...Ooo I am going to barf, I can just feel it, but wait, I thought it would cleanse the intestines/colon, not my stomach....Bllleeerghhhhh Just a little more, and I'm done. Then, the waiting game started...should be needing to glue my cheeks to the porcelain queen within an hour and a half. Ooo I hear lots of rumbling!!! Holy crap, really!

Hmmm nothing yet...Ahhh, my first "run", and yet, there's nothing spectacular about it...Maybe later? Nope.

Ok, "bottom" line...Should have followed the directions a bit better, like doing this on an empty stomach first thing in the morning. Did it cleanse me? Eh, no, not really. Did it taste good? Well, I think we all know the answer to that...Would I do it again? Maybe when I find a way to remove the salty taste from the elixir...Miracle fruit (Synsepalum dulcificum) anyone???

On the plus side, I think I'm nicely seasoned with salt.

Movie and Dinner Night!

The ladies and I went to watch The Ugly Truth. Not bad! I thought it was better than the reviews it's been getting. Predictable of course, but hey, so is ass-expansion during a night out, filled with gnocchi (o, they were sooo good), and dessert. By the way, had my first taste of Cinnabon Ben&Jerry's. OY.

A nice game of Skip-bo ended the evening. I won, so I'm still the queen, yay!

And It's Lights Out

Ok, I do mean that literally. There was a blackout just now, 10:00ish. It's been a weird day, so this is probably the icing on the cake.

Nat was supposed to stop by for dinner (fondue, spinach salad, chicken vindaloo, and dessert). Unfortunately, her car went pffffftttt on the road. Just before her vacay, that totally sucks big potatoes, aside from the normal level of complete and utter suckydoom that is anything related to cars and them not working.

I was looking forward to seeing her :( so I ate half of the dessert for dinner.

Thanks Sushi. Now the Neighbors Are Talking...

Yep, was just getting home after a hard day at work (like, surprise, eh), and my upstairs neighbor happened to park his car at the same time, so we chatted a bit. It was bad enough that I could hear Sushi crying, knowing that I was outside, but not coming in...

My neighbor asked me which cat hangs out in the window sill in the bedroom. My smile disappeared. Immediately, I'm asking why, suspecting, of course, that this had something to do with Sushi. It had indeed.

Apparently, my little bundle of fur, is now harassing the neighbors...The guy was just walking up to his front door, and kept seeing Sushi's mouth opening over and over, hissing at him.

I can't say I'm too surprised, because months ago, I heard him in the bathroom (he was looking out the window), hissing at my other neighbor who had greeted him.

Surprise. I Need a Higher Dose.

That was pretty fast...getting the results from the bloodwork I did on Friday. The nurse at my doctor's office left me a voicemail at home yesterday, so I called today.

Everything looks good, cholesterol, blood sugar, liver function, but my thyroid is underactive again, so I have to up my dosage (was alternating between 175---4 days a week and 150---remaining days).

It's really not a surprise to me (and my fault for not getting the bloodwork done sooner, like 6-9 months sooner), because I have been feeling very tired, can't sleep well or concentrate, the usual, but my hair has been steadily falling off since February. I was chalking it up to a delayed reaction to stressful events, I've had so many!

My arms are still as hairy though.

Homemade Laundry Detergent!

I looooooooooove to make my own "stuff". Today, it was homemade laundry detergent day. Can't wait to try this recipe!

I Feel Arghhhhhhhhhhh.

I am not sure if I'm getting sick, or it's another symptom piling on from my thyroid being underactive for a while now (I take my little pills to make it better, but I'm always up and down).

I was supposed to go to Nat's house today, so I took a shower, it was still early. I felt a bit drowsy and tired, so I went to lay down for a "few minutes", I woke up many hours after!

I felt terrible. Not only did the extra sleep not do much for me, but I'm disappointed I missed the event. Stupid sleep.

Bruised

Sheeesh...that was some vile experience with a needle...I went to Kwest (name changed to protect its identity), and the person who took the blood couldn't get a hold of my vein, so she kept prodding and poking, switching from a butterfly to a regular needle, in and out...

Finally, she used a different vein. End result, a pretty big and nasty looking bruise.

If you look at it sideways, it's like a 1-inch heart!

Butterflies and Work, an Oxymoron

Ok, I have no idea if seeing butterflies signifies anything in particular (maybe just the meaning I'm attributing to them...), but I've been crossing paths with them a lot lately.

Just today, while talking to one of my friends about work (the very subject makes me want to vomit just a little), we spotted a black eastern tiger swallowtail. Much like a cat smitten by a fly, I was enthralled by its path. Free. Beautiful, but most importantly, it is Free.

I want to be that way. I want the weight of my "job" lifted, so I can be happy again. I worked so hard for very long, thinking that I am a part of something good, that whatever I do is important, but after almost 10 years, finding out it's not, it's not just disappointing - it's crushing, and I'm heartbroken.

O Snippity Snap, I'm Back!

Ok, OS went kaputzki, had to get external modem, blah blah blah, months without my laptop. Sniff...

Just came back from vacay (was in Portugal for about 10 days), double sniff... and now I'm slowly returning to my writing here.

There's a whole bunch of stuff, but the first that comes to mind, isn't even about my time overseas. It's an email I got at work today. Apparently, a reader from one of the websites, emailed clearly believing that she was reaching a pharmaceutical company.

If it weren't for the gravity of her condition, and I hope nothing like that (or similar) ever happens to me or anyone I know, it might have given me the right to giggle without feeling guilty. Her inquiry? She wanted to find out about a particular treatment for the left side of her vulva. Aiiiiieeeeee.

Luckily, I am not too mean these days, and did not request a list of symptoms, nor photos of the affected area...

Some Lay Golden Eggs...

Me? I've laid silver. Boy, what a surprise it is, when you pay your respects to the porcelain queen, and there it appears. A little speck of aluminum foil. Hmm must pay more attention to what I eat.

Gahhhh Poop Again!!!

Of course it had to happen in the morning...When I'm rushing out the door to get to work. I noticed the poop on Sushi's tail. Again. Dang.

I grabbed a whole bunch of baby wipes, and there I went to work - following the kitty around the house, as he managed to escape my many attempts to squeeze that tail between the wipes. I finally got a big piece of "it".

I also discovered that by now, it wasn't just on his tail...It was on my s-CRAP-booking board AND on the window sill. All over the place.

I cleaned up the mess, went to work, and sometime during the morning, had the brilliant idea of googling "cat poop on tail". Don't ask me why. I'm prone to curiosity and googling. Sometimes, not a good combination. Also not something you want to mix in --- getting screenshots, to illustrate some process or procedure.

It just so happens that I wanted to demonstrate to a salesperson and his client how people who register for our webcasts can test their systems before the live event. Unfortunately for me, the "cat poop on tail" was still in the google toolbar, and subsequently, it appeared in every single screenshot I pasted onto my word document. Luckily, I was able to spot the error of my ways and revised the images, but not before almost passing out in horror and giggles.

Ooo What's That Intestines?

The general tso's chicken I had for lunch at work did NOT agree with my intestines. Let's just say I made an exquisite objet d'art in le toilet, and I'll be dedicating it to some of the people on "my list".

You're welcome!

The Hyenas

Ok, it's time to sit down, call for a family meeting, and have a talk with my two furry girls about manners. They just don't have them, when it comes to food. I made fish and Sashimi and Pixie surrounded me like a pack of hungry hyenas that have not eaten in days.

Not only were they circling me, but they added on some crying for goodness' sake...Such drama queens. Should I mention they had JUST eaten their dinner when they were preying on mine???

Gahhhh Poop!

Just got poop on my hand. I was in the throne, thinking as usual, and Sushi came in to be petted. I started smelling something familiar (aka cat poo), and then I felt it on my hand. Great. Bad enough to get shit at work, eheheh, but now I'm getting it at home too!

Nice. Now I've got to chase my big cat with a baby wipe, so he doesn't spread his fortune all over the house.

Happy Pills Are Here Again!

The happy pills are starting to help by clearing out some of the thick fog, so I can refocus on my needs/wants/goals.

For the next few weeks, I'll be taking up a new hobby, polishing my french. Weeeee, or shall I say Oui!

I may consider doing my nails tonight, because yes, it's a little sign that I've lost some of that urge to take care of myself. This depression thing makes everything seem overwhelming, but I've got my little friends now, so am feeling a bit more hopeful and not dwelling as much in my work situation. I still feel it sucks big time, but I'm getting the feeling it's not the end of the world just yet.

Making This the Year of Improvement

One of my friends and I have been creating themes for each year that arrives. For 2009, I decided to improve my self. I needed some time to heal from the divorce, and I think I'm doing pretty well so far.

I had planned on concentrating on my health as the next step, but recent changes in my workplace have opened my eyes a little bit, showing me a need to regroup, and rethink how I see my career, how I need it to be, instead of accepting what it currently is, and being frustrated because I can't do anything about it. Like a popular buzzword of late, I'm looking for "change", and it ain't in ma pocket.

Week From Hell

Let's see...this week, I've been asked to move (for the 9th or 10th time, I have lost count) from an area conducive to creativity and a friendly, upbeat atmosphere to one right next to the "principal's office" (aka HR). Really, I need to be watched that closely???

All the reasons for my move do not make sense to me, and it feels as if I am being punished for something I don't even know I did. It's not a no-man's land, there are plenty of talkative (well, on the phone anyway) sales reps, mostly, but I've been removed from my comfort zone. And as much as I pleaded not to be removed, it seems some "dark-force" wants me to suffer.

I've been a good worker for 9 years, never made a stir, whatever changes/challenges they handed me, I took them and made them work, and all of a sudden, I am being told I was going to be written up for insubordination, and I'm beside myself with incredulity and shock. Me??!! Seriously??

It feels like jail, but without the sexual advances, ehehehe --- you know, they try to break your spirit? That's the feeling I have. Although I cannot divulge what went on with today's meeting with HR, I can just say, I have a strong feeling "someone" wants me out - badly.

Hot Ladies and Bingo

My friend and I went to bingo at a local church. Our first time! (at bingo). As soon as we're walking in, we get the glances. Everyone is staring at us. Uncomfortable, anyone?

We were the hottest chicks in the place. I'm sure we were the envy in everyone's eyes, when we pranced in, with all our non-walkers, no canes, fancy hearing equipment.

Yes, we were feeling good. Until we started playing, couldn't figure out the special bingos, and didn't have much luck with winning. We did have 3 hours of fun, with our brand new stampers in hot pink, cheap food, and good ol' fun times.

And yes, we're totally doing it again.

Deep Thought

It's hard to think like a man when you have a uterus.

Elastics Gymnastics

Any series of physical exercises designed to squeeze one’s arse into a pair of pantyhose, snug jeans, and such.

"I almost collapsed from exhaustion and dehydration after a grueling session of elastics gymnastics with a pair of tights."

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Elastics%20Gymnastics

Crackpot

A slow cooking device that seemingly makes your life easier by allowing you to input raw food and attend to other tasks, while it prepares the meal for you. Due to its ease of operation and effectiveness, this appliance will gradually turn you into a heavy "user".

"Did you hear what happened to Bob in accounting?"
"No, what?"
"We found him this morning, under his desk, shaking uncontrollably and muttering something about needing a stew fix. Apparently, his crackpot blew up on him over the weekend, and he’s experiencing some serious withdrawal".

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Crackpot

Making Peace With It

This just has to be one of the hardest things I've done lately, but I'm forgetting about work, make peace with it for the time being, and move on.

I'm refocusing on occupying myself with all the silliness I can handle. Translation? More blogging, word creating, and fun!!!

Frustration and Pride

Woke up crying. It's frustration and hurt pride. Nothing much has changed in terms of my feelings towards the changes at work. I have been asked to move to a different position, much similar to the one I had about 3 promotions ago.

It's a huge, HUGE, blow to my ego, even though it has nothing to do with anything I've done wrong, but the company has to fill that position, so, here I am. Right back where I started.

Holy Fuck...

Bombshell dropped on me at end of business day. Can't even talk about it, I'm flipping out.

No Internet for Me :(

I haven't had internet access (at home) for 3 whole days now. I know it's hard to imagine, but I'm one of the rare birdies that still has dial-up service, and when the landline goes, so does my fun hobby.

My fingers have missed the keyboard forplay...My wrists are limp with inactivity...I can see better, but what's the point if I can't tweet? If I can't surf for recipes? Can't blog in the comfort of my underwear?

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Thank goodness I don't have a porn website to upkeep. Could you just imagine the chaos?

Wardrobe Malfunctions - Pantyhose

I've suffered quite a few wardrobe malfunctions over the years. Lately, I've been more in tune with my struggle with pantyhose.

Now, I get them at least a size bigger. The theory behind it is that they will be less likely to roll down and expose my ass to some fresh air (well, that's a whole other post) if they are big enough to pull up to my chest. However, pantyhose combined with equally falling uderwear still results in serious tugging.

While having yet another brilliant monologue, I came to the conclusion that my pantyhose-pulling and leg side-kick combo (in the hopes it will facilitate retrieval of said culprit), isn’t quite as sexy as I had imagined.

Ahh, live and learn...Live and learn...

I'm Keeping My Eye on You, Kids.

Sushi keeps taunting me. Not sure what his game plan is... He is on top of my fancy table runner, left paw up, staring at me as if he were a stalker, then picking at the fabric with his super-sharp talons, barely breaking eye contact. Meow. He's so sadistic.

Sushi and the girls have been keeping me up at night for the last few days (read: weeks/months/years). Between Sashimi and Pixie's wild chases, wrestling, and Sushi's territory battles, I am awake every few hours, pleading for them to stop, otherwise, they won't be sleeping in the bedroom anymore. Yeah. Ok, like that's going to happen.

God, such little manipulators.

The Candle Guy

If I had sand on me, I would have thrown it at this guy's eyes.

Every now and then, we have vendors coming in with products to sell to the overly stressed workers (read: easy targets) of the companies that reside in our professional building. Yesterday, we had the "candle guy".

It all started innocently enough, and it then progressed to a close-encounter with my fist and his gut (in my imagination, of course) in less than 5 minutes.

I'm with my co-workers, just browsing the selection, and happen to casually mention "too bad I can't have candles" (but could totally have bought the strawberry daiquiri one because it looked so cute. Glad I didn't now. Sucka!) to one of the girls. "O that's right, because of the cats!" is my friend's reply.

Candle Guy interjects, wanting to know why, exactly, was it that I couldn't have candles if I had cats, with an attitude that could rival that of Naomi Campbell. Blink, blink, blink, pardonnez-moi? Instead of giving him a dirty look and walking away, my evil within (not gas this time), decides to see how far this idiocy can reach.

Apparently, very far.

We go back and forth with this stupid conversation, me mentioning that my cats are especially feisty (I wouldn't have it any other way), him saying that if I had trained my cats well...

Aiiiiiiiiiiiii, I don't think I have to go any further into it, but needless to say, I was so highly offended, that if anyone at that point, would have offered me a deliciously, hot cinnabon, I might have to ask them to just put it aside (for a second, I mean, who am I kidding here), while I catch my breath.


Ahh, Candle Guy...if the relaxation candles you are pushing were any good, I wouldn't have had the urge to scratch your face off.

Hot Maneuver

I've gone to this particular gas station by my house a few times. Every time I go, the gas attendant plays with my card (well, with me). He starts to give it back to me, I try to grab it, and he takes it away! "Ooo too slow! Ok, I geeeve it back now...Ooooo no! EHEHHEHEHE...Ok, ok, I geeeve it back this time...Oooooo eheheheheeh...I am jost keeeding wit you". Must admit, I do think it's funny, because he seems to be having a grand ol' time here.

Today, I went to get gas during the day (had to take an earlier lunch at work, due to a meeting), and there was a different attendant. I'm thinking, o, no takesies-backsies this time.

I'm behind this SUV, waiting for the driver to leave, meanwhile, another car is leaving on the other side. The attendant signals for me to go around. The fuel door cover is not on the same side, so I backed up, drove around the car in front of me, and then reversed until I got to the pump all in like 5 seconds. Managed not to run over the attendant, cool beans to me.

They must have gone to the same school of humor, because, as I "roll down" the window, he goes "yoooo are verry booteefool driverrr" while he gestures a little sign of approval (you know, the indicator finger and thumb together, with a back and forth motion, elevated to the chin, and half-puckered lips). I'm glad I get to impress people with my skills.

Hair-Raising Experience

I had a haircut at this salon at the mall. Short with layers. Hairstylist made it puffy, VERY puffy. I mean popcorn-style poofaroonie. She de-puffed it a bit, but still not low enough for me to be considered "short" again. It defies gravity, cold, windy air, bride of Frankenstein hair...I hope I recover.

Santa, the Not-So-Great

Thinking about a recent conversation I had with someone, led me to have a monologue about Santa Claus. I don't know how I got there, but I personally believe (Miss South Carolina style) that Santa is a prick. It's also "Satan" if you are really clever and noticed it, or are just plain dyslexic.

There's nothing really great about him, and to tell you the truth, most renderings of Santa make him look, how do you say? Pervy. Not just for the overly rosy cheeks (either rosacea, or more likely, he's a perpetual drunk), little beady eyes, or drooling, goofy look, but for an even bigger reason- his love for younger boys and girls. I mean, the guy's whole life revolves around children, handing out toys, talking about naughty stuff, and having them sit on his lap. Hello, Santa? It's me, Michael Jackson.

Here's why I think Santa's a hemorrhoid: he takes all the credit for the Holiday (no offense to JC…). It's already been scientifically proven that there's no way in hell, that the fat guy in the red pajamas, can efficiently deliver toys to all the kids in the world in one flippin' night (I don't need your rationalizations about secret portals, "helpers", etc, ok?). If that were true, the idiot would have been on The Apprentice, jumping on the couch with Oprah, written books about his expertise, and sold billions of copies. The money earned could be used for more toy-making, increasing wages, benefits, and handing out big bonuses to his workers, but since he’s an asshole, he would probably choose to use the cash to retire in a nice, expensive island somewhere, while laughing at his staff for being such huge suckers. Stick it to the man, Elves, stick it to the man!

It pisses me off to think that Santa uses height-challenged people (or are they kids disguised as adult little people? In which case, I'll be reporting you to the authorities for using child labor) to produce the toys, like indentured servants, while his flaccid derriere sits in a big throne, complaining how he's sooo busy. And what's with you, Elves? What happened to your pride and dignity? Who stole the "s" in "selves"? (Another word worth looking into: selves. You know those letters also spell "slaves", if you remove an "e" and replace it with an "a"?) Santa's just using you! He don't love you like that.

Where is PETA on this? Didn't we notice the whip that sadist dangles over the poor, innocent reindeer?

How come only certain kids receive gifts, while others (i.e. Jewish, Hindu, and so on) get zip?

How about the kids in Africa, do they know it's Christmastime at all? (line totally stolen from a popular song, but really, why do we assume others feel bad because they don't celebrate this holiday? OMG, I just read the lyrics, this song blows chunks!)

Know what, Satan Claws? You're on MY list now, bitch.

I Got Hit On...No, it Wasn't Good

Ex-husband and I were on our way back to his house to exchange cars (he got into a bad accident, and I gave him the purple passion, while I collected my gold beauty), and he decided we should take a little detour.

Great idea, actually, because we ended up going to ReFlore (name changed) in Mine Hill, a place I totally adore. We go in, and who do I see running towards us? This retired gentleman (volunteer at the store) who had previously informed me that I was better off without my ex, and what did I need him for anyway? Sex? Obviously, I was hoping he didn't recognize me, but after an exchange of words, he did.

Needless to say, he started chatting me up, saying how much he enjoyed talking to me, tried to find my address in the "items requested" list, but I gave some excuse that I couldn't find my name there. Ex never even noticed Retired Man's blatant attempts at "seducing" me off my feet.

It got really uncomfortable (for me), and when we left the store, I took a sigh of relief. That is, until ex decided to go back for two items that he needed (covers for the cast-iron heaters) but had failed to bargain successfully prior to us leaving...I told him I would stay in the car, and if anyone (i.e. the smooth talker there) asked where I was, that I had stayed in the car to make a phone call. I know. Sucky excuse...

While Ex is doing his thing, the "gentleman" walks up to the car (I roll down the window, knowing it's a bad choice, but don't want to offend the chronically challenged person), and he tells me "I really want to see more of you, but I'm married". Like, ok, we would really have a chance at love, if he didn't have a wife. If he's like this in his "golden years", I wonder what he must have been like when he was younger!

I'm not so sure I'll ever go back to ReFlore...

Mii Injured :(

I got my first Wii-related injury this weekend. I played mostly tennis, but did it for well over an hour, my wrist is killing me. It probably wouldn't be so bad if I didn't already have problems with my hands, but aiiiiieeee, it's painful! I can barely move it.

Eh, Little Meltdown Today

Once in a while, I am overcome by emotions that lead me to cry like a little baby, whose pacifier was just removed. And that was my day. I have already been feeling so uneasy with my dental appointment today...Not only that I am going to have two crowns put in, something I've never done before and quite dreading having two fake things in my mouth, but the horrendous monetary setback...Insurance will cover maybe 25% of the cost, and I get to absorb the rest. It's good to be me.

I don't even know how it started, but remember getting annoyed by a sales rep, who has a reputation for being condescending, thinking information that was sent to me in error was beneficial to the person I forwarded it to, being late (the day before) to a meeting in which everyone knew exactly what was going on except me, and then the best part...thinking that I was in over my head with the search engine optimization part of my work.

The way I described it to a friend, is being at a party, listening to a joke, and you're the only one who doesn't get the punch line. You still laugh, because you don't want people to think you are slightly "we todd did", but deep down, you do feel that way.

You're not smart enough. I know I am. I don't think I've ever doubted it, but it's more than that. Not being good enough. My, it brings back memories...Like the first year with my father in the US, him looking at my report card, and asking what happened with gym? My only C. I won't even go with abandonment issues that "support" my notion of not being good enough, that would be an entire site full of crap.

By late morning, I was a mess waiting to happen. The lips started quivering, I knew what was happening next, so proceeded to make my way to the ladies' room. On the way, my boss stopped me to ask if I was ok, I said I would be, but I think the puffy eyes discredited my statement. I was kind of embarrassed, because I don't like crying in front of people, especially at work, but at the same time, it made me talk about what was wrong. I mean, she didn't know that I felt lost, how could she? I didn't say anything before. Good things are coming out of it though. For one, I'm getting lessons on the topic, and I vowed to re-dedicate myself to my job.

Uh-oh, Here Come the Dreams!

I am unsure as to what has taken over me, but this morning, I had the most lovely, weird dream. Well, it was with a well known comedic actor. Very tall (at least, in my reverie, he was about a foot taller), and older than me. He was not "on" (as in "acting funny"), just very warm, sweet, caring, and absolutely wonderful. I was completely smitten.

We were, I suppose, "dating" but madly in love, and had gone to see a live show (theater? music?). There weren’t any seats at all, so everyone was either sitting on the floor or up against the walls. He had gone somewhere for a few minutes, and I remained to "reserve" our places.

He came back, our spot had been reduced (more people squeezing in). I put my arm around his waist, and he did the same, my head against him, it was just a great feeling.

At one point, we ignored the show totally, opting instead for alternating between gazing in each other's eyes, kissing, and hugging. I know, I know...it's so sappy it makes me want to make a stack of pancakes, and pour all the overly sweet feelings all over them.

Perhaps this dream is my mind's way of reminding me of real passion...without me rolling my eyes, feeling foolish or weak if I start believing in romance, or gagging at any hint of it.

Back on the Horse. I Think.

One of my friends is getting her website ready to publish. This reminded me that I haven't really been updating much these days, so I better get my arse back on that horse (you know, the one in which you put a little quarter in, and it goes bouncy bouncy?)

I've been bad, o so bad, but it's a great excuse I have, really...Mom was here, top priority to spend time with her. Not on my website, blog, bills, or even my poor, sad friends.