I Got Hit On...No, it Wasn't Good

Ex-husband and I were on our way back to his house to exchange cars (he got into a bad accident, and I gave him the purple passion, while I collected my gold beauty), and he decided we should take a little detour.

Great idea, actually, because we ended up going to ReFlore (name changed) in Mine Hill, a place I totally adore. We go in, and who do I see running towards us? This retired gentleman (volunteer at the store) who had previously informed me that I was better off without my ex, and what did I need him for anyway? Sex? Obviously, I was hoping he didn't recognize me, but after an exchange of words, he did.

Needless to say, he started chatting me up, saying how much he enjoyed talking to me, tried to find my address in the "items requested" list, but I gave some excuse that I couldn't find my name there. Ex never even noticed Retired Man's blatant attempts at "seducing" me off my feet.

It got really uncomfortable (for me), and when we left the store, I took a sigh of relief. That is, until ex decided to go back for two items that he needed (covers for the cast-iron heaters) but had failed to bargain successfully prior to us leaving...I told him I would stay in the car, and if anyone (i.e. the smooth talker there) asked where I was, that I had stayed in the car to make a phone call. I know. Sucky excuse...

While Ex is doing his thing, the "gentleman" walks up to the car (I roll down the window, knowing it's a bad choice, but don't want to offend the chronically challenged person), and he tells me "I really want to see more of you, but I'm married". Like, ok, we would really have a chance at love, if he didn't have a wife. If he's like this in his "golden years", I wonder what he must have been like when he was younger!

I'm not so sure I'll ever go back to ReFlore...

Mii Injured :(

I got my first Wii-related injury this weekend. I played mostly tennis, but did it for well over an hour, my wrist is killing me. It probably wouldn't be so bad if I didn't already have problems with my hands, but aiiiiieeee, it's painful! I can barely move it.

Eh, Little Meltdown Today

Once in a while, I am overcome by emotions that lead me to cry like a little baby, whose pacifier was just removed. And that was my day. I have already been feeling so uneasy with my dental appointment today...Not only that I am going to have two crowns put in, something I've never done before and quite dreading having two fake things in my mouth, but the horrendous monetary setback...Insurance will cover maybe 25% of the cost, and I get to absorb the rest. It's good to be me.

I don't even know how it started, but remember getting annoyed by a sales rep, who has a reputation for being condescending, thinking information that was sent to me in error was beneficial to the person I forwarded it to, being late (the day before) to a meeting in which everyone knew exactly what was going on except me, and then the best part...thinking that I was in over my head with the search engine optimization part of my work.

The way I described it to a friend, is being at a party, listening to a joke, and you're the only one who doesn't get the punch line. You still laugh, because you don't want people to think you are slightly "we todd did", but deep down, you do feel that way.

You're not smart enough. I know I am. I don't think I've ever doubted it, but it's more than that. Not being good enough. My, it brings back memories...Like the first year with my father in the US, him looking at my report card, and asking what happened with gym? My only C. I won't even go with abandonment issues that "support" my notion of not being good enough, that would be an entire site full of crap.

By late morning, I was a mess waiting to happen. The lips started quivering, I knew what was happening next, so proceeded to make my way to the ladies' room. On the way, my boss stopped me to ask if I was ok, I said I would be, but I think the puffy eyes discredited my statement. I was kind of embarrassed, because I don't like crying in front of people, especially at work, but at the same time, it made me talk about what was wrong. I mean, she didn't know that I felt lost, how could she? I didn't say anything before. Good things are coming out of it though. For one, I'm getting lessons on the topic, and I vowed to re-dedicate myself to my job.

Uh-oh, Here Come the Dreams!

I am unsure as to what has taken over me, but this morning, I had the most lovely, weird dream. Well, it was with a well known comedic actor. Very tall (at least, in my reverie, he was about a foot taller), and older than me. He was not "on" (as in "acting funny"), just very warm, sweet, caring, and absolutely wonderful. I was completely smitten.

We were, I suppose, "dating" but madly in love, and had gone to see a live show (theater? music?). There weren’t any seats at all, so everyone was either sitting on the floor or up against the walls. He had gone somewhere for a few minutes, and I remained to "reserve" our places.

He came back, our spot had been reduced (more people squeezing in). I put my arm around his waist, and he did the same, my head against him, it was just a great feeling.

At one point, we ignored the show totally, opting instead for alternating between gazing in each other's eyes, kissing, and hugging. I know, I know...it's so sappy it makes me want to make a stack of pancakes, and pour all the overly sweet feelings all over them.

Perhaps this dream is my mind's way of reminding me of real passion...without me rolling my eyes, feeling foolish or weak if I start believing in romance, or gagging at any hint of it.

Back on the Horse. I Think.

One of my friends is getting her website ready to publish. This reminded me that I haven't really been updating much these days, so I better get my arse back on that horse (you know, the one in which you put a little quarter in, and it goes bouncy bouncy?)

I've been bad, o so bad, but it's a great excuse I have, really...Mom was here, top priority to spend time with her. Not on my website, blog, bills, or even my poor, sad friends.