Soooo…Last night, I gathered the kitties to discuss sleeping arrangements. I brought up my list of grievances (all in English because the little one doesn’t understand Portuguese that well):
I cannot move my legs when both of you snuggle so close to them. It makes me feel trapped, like I can’t breathe
Since when do cats snore? Must I wake up, and nudge you to stop?
Using my head as a pillow is kind of disrespectful
Chasing each other around the house at 3:00 AM is totally bad, especially when you jump over me and accidentally scratch me while I sleep
I don’t know if you are aware, but you CAN eat dry food in the early AM before I wake up. Momma needs her beauty rest. She doesn’t need to be awaken by screeching felines who
demand their canned goodies, and then just sniff and leave the food behind with a disgusted look (stop snickering, both of you.)You could, at least, be considerate enough to move your ass out of the way, as I’m trying to leave the bed. I’m very flexible, but I’m not a gymnast.
Sushi and Sashimi listened to what I had to say, and then they decided we live in a democracy, where majority rules, so I should be lucky I still have a little tiny area of the bed to myself. From now on, I should not bother either one with my pettiness, and they’ve insisted on getting massages before they doze off each evening. I think they went a little too far with requesting (more like demanding, if you ask me) that I address them as “your highnesses”, not speak unless spoken to, and that I do not look at them directly. Gosh.
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