Fruity Ana

The CATastrophy

2010-04-26T16:16:00.003-04:00

I woke up this morning, with an extra spring in my step, yet my mood soon became clouded with the thought of taking Pixie over to get her tummy tuck (aka, spaying). I felt so guilty, I nearly took a little white pill to calm me down. The dread, the thought of my little cutie pie going through such a traumatic experience, I can't just imagine. My little bunny.

I had it all planned. Wake up extra early, allow about 45 minutes to gently coax my little minx into the carrier using her favorite feather toy, feed the other babies, and be on my way to the shelter that sponsored Spay Day. Ahhh what a nice little plan...

Here's the result of the @%$&*@$ plan...

My house is literally upside down. I mean, I had to split the sectional, both parts are upside down right now (she was hiding for a while inside the armrest, yeah, the actual INSIDE of it…), my bed has been completely dismantled (maybe she was hiding inside the box spring). At one point, I thought I had maybe accidentally smothered her, as the mattress folded onto itself as I was removing it --- it's a very heavy tempurpedic...

I’ve got the kitchen chairs all over the place (we did a little Benny Hill routine between the living room and the kitchen for the first hour or so), the fridge has been pulled away from its area (there's a space underneath it by the motor where kitties can hide, but usually don't), cabinets were open and closed numerous times as I became more and more frantic, also looked on top of the kitchen cabinets, as one of the other cats seems to deeply enjoy the view, the sofa cushions are
all over the living room, as are the fancy pillows...

My duvet, bedsheets, pillows are somewhere between the wing chair and the floor in the bedroom...The two storage bins I keep under the bed are on their sides with some of the contents spilled onto the carpet, the cat food is in the bathroom
(I know, it’s just where it ended up during the Great Chase)...

But finally, 2 calls made to the shelter (one explaining I couldn't find my cat, and no, she's not an outdoor cat, well, she's tiny and black, can hide anywhere in a one-bedroom condo...a giggle or two in the background...second to say that after only 3 HOURS, I had caught the little stinker).

I left the house without feeding the other two cats (I had to remove all food the night before, because Pixie wasn't allowed to eat prior to surgery), my face completely red, my hair all disheveled, 3 very VERY upset kitties (all traumatized forever, and I'm sure, already planning the next attack on yours truly), my potty mouth needing a good cleaning (I think at one point, I actually called them all bitches), and a vow to never let these three cookies boss me around (yeah, ok, like that's EVER going to change).

War on Poo - Part II

2010-03-23T16:14:00.002-04:00

The war against poo continues...Neighbor is letting his dog poop in the common area. I had no choice but to tattle tell...Here's my letter to property maintenance sans graphic photos and videos:

Hi Rhonda*:

I had recently contacted your office regarding the laundry facilities and the detached railing on the back of Units X3/X4. Thank you so much for the swift reply. I am sure you were notified that the area by the railing was filled with dog excrement, which was all cleaned the day the railing was also removed.

I had recorded the “gifts” that were left there (videos 65 and 66 below), as I had planned on reporting it, until the area was subsequently cleaned. I was sure the culprit would have gotten the “clue”, but unfortunately, it started up again. There are two new piles of feces, same area – back of Units X3/X4 - see photo 1 and photo 2 attached.

I cannot say with 100% certainty that the offender (the condo resident that is, not the dog as it does not know any better) lives in Unit X6 (I’m sure the guy’s lived there for over a year, but I’ve never noticed anything like this before, and I walk through the back every day), but do know, when it snowed, the foot/paw traffic led a very clear path between our units.

Aside from that, I did see the owner with his dog coming out of his unit, by the time I picked up my garbage to take it to the dumpster (as a pretense to catch them in the act), a new present had been created and both the guy and his dog were back in the house. Dog was way faster than I was.

Finally, I heard a dog barking and it seemed very close to my living room window (front of building), I turned on the outdoor light, and there he was with his dog. The next morning, I went outside to see if there was anything on the ground, and ta-dah --- his dog’s latest sculpture. That’s when I realized he’s been letting the dog defecate in the front of his unit as evidenced by the decomposing and the recent artistic displays (video 67).

I don’t want him to ruin it for the rest of those who own dogs and are very much responsible when it comes to picking up after their pets.

Incidentally, I also noticed one of the shutters had detached from one of the windows when we had those strong winds (video 68). I placed it by my plant pots/bushes in front of my unit.

Thank you,

Fruity Ana*

* names and places changed to protect the victim (moi)

Errr Watching The Bachelor

2010-02-01T21:59:00.002-05:00

OMG, why do I punish myself? Just watched the Bachelor. Is this how dating goes? You're having a conversation, and all of a sudden, you stop in order to swap saliva? Seems so staged. But yes, I'll be watching again next week, for more awkward scenes. Ahhh, something to look forward to, when I begin dating. Hmmmm. Maybe later.

New Curtains for the Chamber of Horrors (Le Bedroom)

2010-01-25T22:35:00.005-05:00

Uhhh one curtain or two??? I can't decide. O that's Sushi. He is a camera hog. And ahhh, yes, that would be a Christmas garland on my dresser. I am a firm believer in leaving holiday decorations up until I feel like it.

Hopefully, that will be before March, because the tree is starting to look a little like a party girl who had waaaaay too much to drink.

The Return of the Bottle Cap

2010-01-22T22:04:00.000-05:00

Someone's messing with me. I tossed that bottle cap yesterday. This morning, it was back again. WTF. Same place, right next to the windshield wipers. Did I misspell wipers?

Freaky stuff.

Hurting Butt

2010-01-21T22:21:00.000-05:00

According to a recent article, experts are now saying that sitting for extended periods of time can be deadly.

No worries, I've got an easy solution!!! How about if we alternate butt cheeks while sitting? That would totally cut the risk by approximately 50%, plus the exercise from shifting your body weight from one cheek to the other would probably eliminate the harm altogether.

Gosh, I'm so smart.

Ahhh Flip This Cap Buddy

2010-01-21T22:02:00.002-05:00

Someone left a beer bottle cap by my windshield wiper. Found it this morning. Perverts.

Thought of the Day - Twilight Saga

2009-12-28T17:08:00.004-05:00

I'm now on book 4 of the Twilight Saga. In the third book, I wrestled between my love of "Edward" (although he always looks constipated in the movies), and my new found fondness for "Jacob" (the muscles did it).

Since then, I've been trying to decide if I was team "Edward" or team "Jacob". Then I realized, why settle? I am now team "Edward" + "Jacob". Nothing better than a tall glass of milk with some hot apple pie, am I right ladies? High five.

Breakfast

2009-11-03T10:11:00.004-05:00

The buttered roll I got from the cafe downstairs at work was pretty disgusting. Clumps of old butter smeared on a roll...Half of it was inedible...unedible...ah crap...this brain fog thing isn't good...can't spell anymore. Inedible? Ahhh feck it...the bread was not eatable. ehehehehe.

Pumpkins

2009-10-29T00:20:00.000-04:00

My company is having a departmental pumpkin-carving event for Halloween. My first thought: "they are going to give us knives???"

A Bag in My Hand

2009-10-26T00:22:00.002-04:00

I decided to go to the mall yesterday. I'm strolling around JCFanny's (name changed to protect its identity) one minute, the next, I've got red lipstick smeared all over my lips, and a bag of goodies in my hand. Yep. That's how fast it got me.

Ok, fine, I ended up in Semora (again, identity thingy), which is right in the JCFanny's. I was just browsing, maybe getting some ideas on what makeup to wear for a work-related event/trip. I decided to go all wild for the evening portion, and go for red lips.

Gotta practice applying the color, because it can go wrong very fast, ehehehe

Sushi Attacks Again

2009-10-15T21:40:00.000-04:00

Sure, go ahead, kitty cat, it's not like I loved that neat little shopping bag that I bought in Portugal with my sister. Nah. Don't need it. Keep using it as a scratching post. Looks grrrrreat!!! You are truly an artist, Sushi.

Simmering Potpourri!

2009-10-08T21:31:00.001-04:00

I can't help it! Newest experiment? Simmering potpourri. Smells good enough to drink! Lemon, cinnamon, cloves, ahhh lots of goodness.

An Ode to Me! Auntie Patricia (yep, also me)

2009-10-06T23:07:00.002-04:00

Sooooo what makes a lovelier gift from Auntie Ana (known by my middle name, Patricia, in my family), than a picture of me on a onesie for future nephew/niece to parade in? Will be mailing this puppy to my sister this week.

Ah yes, almost forgot to mention there is also a dedication to my singlehood. Here is the piece of art, with the translation underneath. It's advertising at its best!

"my auntie adores me! Auntie Patricia: scorpion, enjoys walks at home, origami, and having intellectual conversations with cats." I'm sooooooooooooo going to be the best aunt ever!

Ahh Dreaming of Eggplant & Goat Cheese

2009-10-05T20:26:00.004-04:00

I'm still dreaming of that eggplant and goat cheese sandwich. It was magical.

Lovely Sunday

2009-10-04T20:29:00.000-04:00

Very sweet Sunday! I met with friends, a mix of former and current co-workers. We talked about what's going on in our lives, work, our lovely pets...It was really great seeing them. They looked wonderful, as usual, which makes me think I must be doing something wrong, because I've been feeling and looking a little "off" lately. Can't even blame it on the recent sinus infection (or can I? hmmmmmm)

I had an eggplant and goat cheese sandwich. Holy crap! It was delicious!

I'm an Auntie!!!

2009-09-30T21:12:00.000-04:00

Ok, got a call from Sis at 7:00 AM. I was confused because that girl rarely calls, so I wasn't expecting to hear from her. She said she was three months pregnant! There was only a little complication with the placenta, but it's all better now.

I hope all goes well, since it didn't the first time around. I'm really excited, I just wish I could be there for her throughout the whole pregnancy and, well, after. It would be nice if I had a little pumpkin of my own, so they could grow up spending summers together. Ah, well. I'll just make do with my kitties for now, and the anticipation of being this baby's favorite aunt, ehehehe

Comedy Night!!!

2009-09-19T00:43:00.001-04:00

Tina, Angela and I went to see stand-up comedy at Pax Amicus Castle Theatre in Budd Lake (NJ); a "Battle of the Sexes" featuring Mark DeMayo, Jodi Weiner, Ophira Eisenberg, and (sorry to the guy, but I can't quite figure out his last name...) Chris Spears, Spires, Mike??? He was funny, just can't remember his name!

We had seen Mark before (he's kinda sweet lookin'), but on TV. Part of Jodi's routine, I have seen it with Lisa Lampanelli, although not live like tonight (the penis between the boobs effect translated into microphone hitting the chin?), so that was a bit disappointing. Overall though, a great experience, YAY!

The Other White Meat

2009-09-15T21:11:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, while enjoying my second hand smoke outside my office building, I felt a little something hit my ankle. I thought it was a nice, dried leaf. Nope. I was viciously attacked by a big, chunky, light green insect.

No injuries, thank goodness, but I'm left worrying about how my being so delicious is attracting the wrong kind of animal.

Ana, the other white meat. Yummers.

Keiko

2009-09-14T21:36:00.003-04:00

My friend Nat just told me her Siberian Husky, Keiko, passed away before she left for vacation. He was barely 10 years old! Such a beautiful dog, very furry, prettiest blue eyes you've ever seen. I am so sad.

Of course, this makes me think of my little foofies. I don't know what I'll do when they pass away. In the meantime, I better get going, and try to stop Sashimi from licking my nail file. Just...don't ask.

Dhalias

2009-09-05T21:17:00.003-04:00

O I'm so utterly happy that I planted a couple of dahlias this year . Just look at this beauty!!! It is bigger than my face.

Pixie, the Ribbon Robber

2009-08-24T22:40:00.002-04:00

Pixie, that little minx...I was playing with a long ribbon, throwing it around, watching her try to catch it. The little foofie ran off with it. Twice.

The Salt Water Cleanse

2009-08-23T21:43:00.003-04:00

Ah, why do I get myself into these little experiments...Because they are fun to try out, of course! Latest one? The Salt Water Cleanse. Basically, you boil a little of water, add two teaspoons of non-iodized salt (already use it for my neti pot sessions), and "flavor" it with lime juice. Bottoms up!

First sip, hmmm ok, not too bad! Second sip, hey, whaaat, ggeeeeesh, sooo salty!!! And it all went downhill from there...between the gagging, the nose holding, chewing gum to offset the taste, I was getting mighty desperate.

Gargled with a little vodka thinking it would numb my tastebuds (ahhh eeek), still as vile of a mix...

Gahhhhh, gag, gahhhh, gaaaaaghhhhhhh...Ooo I am going to barf, I can just feel it, but wait, I thought it would cleanse the intestines/colon, not my stomach....Bllleeerghhhhh Just a little more, and I'm done. Then, the waiting game started...should be needing to glue my cheeks to the porcelain queen within an hour and a half. Ooo I hear lots of rumbling!!! Holy crap, really!

Hmmm nothing yet...Ahhh, my first "run", and yet, there's nothing spectacular about it...Maybe later? Nope.

Ok, "bottom" line...Should have followed the directions a bit better, like doing this on an empty stomach first thing in the morning. Did it cleanse me? Eh, no, not really. Did it taste good? Well, I think we all know the answer to that...Would I do it again? Maybe when I find a way to remove the salty taste from the elixir...Miracle fruit (Synsepalum dulcificum) anyone???

On the plus side, I think I'm nicely seasoned with salt.

Movie and Dinner Night!

2009-08-21T22:31:00.000-04:00

The ladies and I went to watch The Ugly Truth. Not bad! I thought it was better than the reviews it's been getting. Predictable of course, but hey, so is ass-expansion during a night out, filled with gnocchi (o, they were sooo good), and dessert. By the way, had my first taste of Cinnabon Ben&Jerry's. OY.

A nice game of Skip-bo ended the evening. I won, so I'm still the queen, yay!

And It's Lights Out

2009-08-15T22:16:00.002-04:00

Ok, I do mean that literally. There was a blackout just now, 10:00ish. It's been a weird day, so this is probably the icing on the cake.

Nat was supposed to stop by for dinner (fondue, spinach salad, chicken vindaloo, and dessert). Unfortunately, her car went pffffftttt on the road. Just before her vacay, that totally sucks big potatoes, aside from the normal level of complete and utter suckydoom that is anything related to cars and them not working.

I was looking forward to seeing her :( so I ate half of the dessert for dinner.

Thanks Sushi. Now the Neighbors Are Talking...

2009-08-13T22:22:00.001-04:00

Yep, was just getting home after a hard day at work (like, surprise, eh), and my upstairs neighbor happened to park his car at the same time, so we chatted a bit. It was bad enough that I could hear Sushi crying, knowing that I was outside, but not coming in...

My neighbor asked me which cat hangs out in the window sill in the bedroom. My smile disappeared. Immediately, I'm asking why, suspecting, of course, that this had something to do with Sushi. It had indeed.

Apparently, my little bundle of fur, is now harassing the neighbors...The guy was just walking up to his front door, and kept seeing Sushi's mouth opening over and over, hissing at him.

I can't say I'm too surprised, because months ago, I heard him in the bathroom (he was looking out the window), hissing at my other neighbor who had greeted him.

Surprise. I Need a Higher Dose.

2009-08-11T23:15:00.001-04:00

That was pretty fast...getting the results from the bloodwork I did on Friday. The nurse at my doctor's office left me a voicemail at home yesterday, so I called today.

Everything looks good, cholesterol, blood sugar, liver function, but my thyroid is underactive again, so I have to up my dosage (was alternating between 175---4 days a week and 150---remaining days).

It's really not a surprise to me (and my fault for not getting the bloodwork done sooner, like 6-9 months sooner), because I have been feeling very tired, can't sleep well or concentrate, the usual, but my hair has been steadily falling off since February. I was chalking it up to a delayed reaction to stressful events, I've had so many!

My arms are still as hairy though.

Homemade Laundry Detergent!

2009-08-09T22:36:00.001-04:00

I looooooooooove to make my own "stuff". Today, it was homemade laundry detergent day. Can't wait to try this recipe!

I Feel Arghhhhhhhhhhh.

2009-08-08T22:44:00.002-04:00

I am not sure if I'm getting sick, or it's another symptom piling on from my thyroid being underactive for a while now (I take my little pills to make it better, but I'm always up and down).

I was supposed to go to Nat's house today, so I took a shower, it was still early. I felt a bit drowsy and tired, so I went to lay down for a "few minutes", I woke up many hours after!

I felt terrible. Not only did the extra sleep not do much for me, but I'm disappointed I missed the event. Stupid sleep.

Bruised

2009-08-07T22:57:00.000-04:00

Sheeesh...that was some vile experience with a needle...I went to Kwest (name changed to protect its identity), and the person who took the blood couldn't get a hold of my vein, so she kept prodding and poking, switching from a butterfly to a regular needle, in and out...

Finally, she used a different vein. End result, a pretty big and nasty looking bruise.

If you look at it sideways, it's like a 1-inch heart!

Butterflies and Work, an Oxymoron

2009-08-06T20:43:00.004-04:00

Ok, I have no idea if seeing butterflies signifies anything in particular (maybe just the meaning I'm attributing to them...), but I've been crossing paths with them a lot lately.

Just today, while talking to one of my friends about work (the very subject makes me want to vomit just a little), we spotted a black eastern tiger swallowtail. Much like a cat smitten by a fly, I was enthralled by its path. Free. Beautiful, but most importantly, it is Free.

I want to be that way. I want the weight of my "job" lifted, so I can be happy again. I worked so hard for very long, thinking that I am a part of something good, that whatever I do is important, but after almost 10 years, finding out it's not, it's not just disappointing - it's crushing, and I'm heartbroken.

O Snippity Snap, I'm Back!

2009-07-06T22:17:00.003-04:00

Ok, OS went kaputzki, had to get external modem, blah blah blah, months without my laptop. Sniff...

Just came back from vacay (was in Portugal for about 10 days), double sniff... and now I'm slowly returning to my writing here.

There's a whole bunch of stuff, but the first that comes to mind, isn't even about my time overseas. It's an email I got at work today. Apparently, a reader from one of the websites, emailed clearly believing that she was reaching a pharmaceutical company.

If it weren't for the gravity of her condition, and I hope nothing like that (or similar) ever happens to me or anyone I know, it might have given me the right to giggle without feeling guilty. Her inquiry? She wanted to find out about a particular treatment for the left side of her vulva. Aiiiiieeeeee.

Luckily, I am not too mean these days, and did not request a list of symptoms, nor photos of the affected area...

Some Lay Golden Eggs...

2009-04-17T19:11:00.002-04:00

Me? I've laid silver. Boy, what a surprise it is, when you pay your respects to the porcelain queen, and there it appears. A little speck of aluminum foil. Hmm must pay more attention to what I eat.

Gahhhh Poop Again!!!

2009-04-16T19:19:00.003-04:00

Of course it had to happen in the morning...When I'm rushing out the door to get to work. I noticed the poop on Sushi's tail. Again. Dang.

I grabbed a whole bunch of baby wipes, and there I went to work - following the kitty around the house, as he managed to escape my many attempts to squeeze that tail between the wipes. I finally got a big piece of "it".

I also discovered that by now, it wasn't just on his tail...It was on my s-CRAP-booking board AND on the window sill. All over the place.

I cleaned up the mess, went to work, and sometime during the morning, had the brilliant idea of googling "cat poop on tail". Don't ask me why. I'm prone to curiosity and googling. Sometimes, not a good combination. Also not something you want to mix in --- getting screenshots, to illustrate some process or procedure.

It just so happens that I wanted to demonstrate to a salesperson and his client how people who register for our webcasts can test their systems before the live event. Unfortunately for me, the "cat poop on tail" was still in the google toolbar, and subsequently, it appeared in every single screenshot I pasted onto my word document. Luckily, I was able to spot the error of my ways and revised the images, but not before almost passing out in horror and giggles.

Ooo What's That Intestines?

2009-04-14T21:55:00.003-04:00

The general tso's chicken I had for lunch at work did NOT agree with my intestines. Let's just say I made an exquisite objet d'art in le toilet, and I'll be dedicating it to some of the people on "my list".

You're welcome!

The Hyenas

2009-04-13T21:45:00.004-04:00

Ok, it's time to sit down, call for a family meeting, and have a talk with my two furry girls about manners. They just don't have them, when it comes to food. I made fish and Sashimi and Pixie surrounded me like a pack of hungry hyenas that have not eaten in days.

Not only were they circling me, but they added on some crying for goodness' sake...Such drama queens. Should I mention they had JUST eaten their dinner when they were preying on mine???

Gahhhh Poop!

2009-04-06T18:12:00.002-04:00

Just got poop on my hand. I was in the throne, thinking as usual, and Sushi came in to be petted. I started smelling something familiar (aka cat poo), and then I felt it on my hand. Great. Bad enough to get shit at work, eheheh, but now I'm getting it at home too!

Nice. Now I've got to chase my big cat with a baby wipe, so he doesn't spread his fortune all over the house.

Happy Pills Are Here Again!

2009-03-31T10:07:00.002-04:00

The happy pills are starting to help by clearing out some of the thick fog, so I can refocus on my needs/wants/goals.

For the next few weeks, I'll be taking up a new hobby, polishing my french. Weeeee, or shall I say Oui!

I may consider doing my nails tonight, because yes, it's a little sign that I've lost some of that urge to take care of myself. This depression thing makes everything seem overwhelming, but I've got my little friends now, so am feeling a bit more hopeful and not dwelling as much in my work situation. I still feel it sucks big time, but I'm getting the feeling it's not the end of the world just yet.

Making This the Year of Improvement

2009-03-21T22:21:00.000-04:00

One of my friends and I have been creating themes for each year that arrives. For 2009, I decided to improve my self. I needed some time to heal from the divorce, and I think I'm doing pretty well so far.

I had planned on concentrating on my health as the next step, but recent changes in my workplace have opened my eyes a little bit, showing me a need to regroup, and rethink how I see my career, how I need it to be, instead of accepting what it currently is, and being frustrated because I can't do anything about it. Like a popular buzzword of late, I'm looking for "change", and it ain't in ma pocket.

Week From Hell

2009-03-20T10:10:00.001-04:00

Let's see...this week, I've been asked to move (for the 9th or 10th time, I have lost count) from an area conducive to creativity and a friendly, upbeat atmosphere to one right next to the "principal's office" (aka HR). Really, I need to be watched that closely???

All the reasons for my move do not make sense to me, and it feels as if I am being punished for something I don't even know I did. It's not a no-man's land, there are plenty of talkative (well, on the phone anyway) sales reps, mostly, but I've been removed from my comfort zone. And as much as I pleaded not to be removed, it seems some "dark-force" wants me to suffer.

I've been a good worker for 9 years, never made a stir, whatever changes/challenges they handed me, I took them and made them work, and all of a sudden, I am being told I was going to be written up for insubordination, and I'm beside myself with incredulity and shock. Me??!! Seriously??

It feels like jail, but without the sexual advances, ehehehe --- you know, they try to break your spirit? That's the feeling I have. Although I cannot divulge what went on with today's meeting with HR, I can just say, I have a strong feeling "someone" wants me out - badly.

Hot Ladies and Bingo

2009-03-12T09:43:00.002-04:00

My friend and I went to bingo at a local church. Our first time! (at bingo). As soon as we're walking in, we get the glances. Everyone is staring at us. Uncomfortable, anyone?

We were the hottest chicks in the place. I'm sure we were the envy in everyone's eyes, when we pranced in, with all our non-walkers, no canes, fancy hearing equipment.

Yes, we were feeling good. Until we started playing, couldn't figure out the special bingos, and didn't have much luck with winning. We did have 3 hours of fun, with our brand new stampers in hot pink, cheap food, and good ol' fun times.

And yes, we're totally doing it again.

Deep Thought

2009-03-09T12:01:00.002-04:00

It's hard to think like a man when you have a uterus.

Elastics Gymnastics

2009-03-06T13:11:00.001-05:00

Any series of physical exercises designed to squeeze one’s arse into a pair of pantyhose, snug jeans, and such.

"I almost collapsed from exhaustion and dehydration after a grueling session of elastics gymnastics with a pair of tights."

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Elastics%20Gymnastics

Crackpot

2009-03-05T13:06:00.002-05:00

A slow cooking device that seemingly makes your life easier by allowing you to input raw food and attend to other tasks, while it prepares the meal for you. Due to its ease of operation and effectiveness, this appliance will gradually turn you into a heavy "user".

"Did you hear what happened to Bob in accounting?"
"No, what?"
"We found him this morning, under his desk, shaking uncontrollably and muttering something about needing a stew fix. Apparently, his crackpot blew up on him over the weekend, and he’s experiencing some serious withdrawal".

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Crackpot

Making Peace With It

2009-03-04T22:43:00.002-05:00

This just has to be one of the hardest things I've done lately, but I'm forgetting about work, make peace with it for the time being, and move on.

I'm refocusing on occupying myself with all the silliness I can handle. Translation? More blogging, word creating, and fun!!!

Frustration and Pride

2009-03-01T22:36:00.000-05:00

Woke up crying. It's frustration and hurt pride. Nothing much has changed in terms of my feelings towards the changes at work. I have been asked to move to a different position, much similar to the one I had about 3 promotions ago.

It's a huge, HUGE, blow to my ego, even though it has nothing to do with anything I've done wrong, but the company has to fill that position, so, here I am. Right back where I started.

Holy Fuck...

2009-02-27T22:34:00.000-05:00

Bombshell dropped on me at end of business day. Can't even talk about it, I'm flipping out.

No Internet for Me :(

2009-02-23T14:27:00.005-05:00

I haven't had internet access (at home) for 3 whole days now. I know it's hard to imagine, but I'm one of the rare birdies that still has dial-up service, and when the landline goes, so does my fun hobby.

My fingers have missed the keyboard forplay...My wrists are limp with inactivity...I can see better, but what's the point if I can't tweet? If I can't surf for recipes? Can't blog in the comfort of my underwear?

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Thank goodness I don't have a porn website to upkeep. Could you just imagine the chaos?

Wardrobe Malfunctions - Pantyhose

2009-02-18T22:51:00.005-05:00

I've suffered quite a few wardrobe malfunctions over the years. Lately, I've been more in tune with my struggle with pantyhose.

Now, I get them at least a size bigger. The theory behind it is that they will be less likely to roll down and expose my ass to some fresh air (well, that's a whole other post) if they are big enough to pull up to my chest. However, pantyhose combined with equally falling uderwear still results in serious tugging.

While having yet another brilliant monologue, I came to the conclusion that my pantyhose-pulling and leg side-kick combo (in the hopes it will facilitate retrieval of said culprit), isn’t quite as sexy as I had imagined.

Ahh, live and learn...Live and learn...

I'm Keeping My Eye on You, Kids.

2009-02-17T23:36:00.005-05:00

Sushi keeps taunting me. Not sure what his game plan is... He is on top of my fancy table runner, left paw up, staring at me as if he were a stalker, then picking at the fabric with his super-sharp talons, barely breaking eye contact. Meow. He's so sadistic.

Sushi and the girls have been keeping me up at night for the last few days (read: weeks/months/years). Between Sashimi and Pixie's wild chases, wrestling, and Sushi's territory battles, I am awake every few hours, pleading for them to stop, otherwise, they won't be sleeping in the bedroom anymore. Yeah. Ok, like that's going to happen.

God, such little manipulators.

The Candle Guy

2009-02-11T12:24:00.007-05:00

If I had sand on me, I would have thrown it at this guy's eyes.

Every now and then, we have vendors coming in with products to sell to the overly stressed workers (read: easy targets) of the companies that reside in our professional building. Yesterday, we had the "candle guy".

It all started innocently enough, and it then progressed to a close-encounter with my fist and his gut (in my imagination, of course) in less than 5 minutes.

I'm with my co-workers, just browsing the selection, and happen to casually mention "too bad I can't have candles" (but could totally have bought the strawberry daiquiri one because it looked so cute. Glad I didn't now. Sucka!) to one of the girls. "O that's right, because of the cats!" is my friend's reply.

Candle Guy interjects, wanting to know why, exactly, was it that I couldn't have candles if I had cats, with an attitude that could rival that of Naomi Campbell. Blink, blink, blink, pardonnez-moi? Instead of giving him a dirty look and walking away, my evil within (not gas this time), decides to see how far this idiocy can reach.

Apparently, very far.

We go back and forth with this stupid conversation, me mentioning that my cats are especially feisty (I wouldn't have it any other way), him saying that if I had trained my cats well...

Aiiiiiiiiiiiii, I don't think I have to go any further into it, but needless to say, I was so highly offended, that if anyone at that point, would have offered me a deliciously, hot cinnabon, I might have to ask them to just put it aside (for a second, I mean, who am I kidding here), while I catch my breath.

Ahh, Candle Guy...if the relaxation candles you are pushing were any good, I wouldn't have had the urge to scratch your face off.

Hot Maneuver

2009-02-10T11:28:00.002-05:00

I've gone to this particular gas station by my house a few times. Every time I go, the gas attendant plays with my card (well, with me). He starts to give it back to me, I try to grab it, and he takes it away! "Ooo too slow! Ok, I geeeve it back now...Ooooo no! EHEHHEHEHE...Ok, ok, I geeeve it back this time...Oooooo eheheheheeh...I am jost keeeding wit you". Must admit, I do think it's funny, because he seems to be having a grand ol' time here.

Today, I went to get gas during the day (had to take an earlier lunch at work, due to a meeting), and there was a different attendant. I'm thinking, o, no takesies-backsies this time.

I'm behind this SUV, waiting for the driver to leave, meanwhile, another car is leaving on the other side. The attendant signals for me to go around. The fuel door cover is not on the same side, so I backed up, drove around the car in front of me, and then reversed until I got to the pump all in like 5 seconds. Managed not to run over the attendant, cool beans to me.

They must have gone to the same school of humor, because, as I "roll down" the window, he goes "yoooo are verry booteefool driverrr" while he gestures a little sign of approval (you know, the indicator finger and thumb together, with a back and forth motion, elevated to the chin, and half-puckered lips). I'm glad I get to impress people with my skills.

Hair-Raising Experience

2009-02-05T20:50:00.003-05:00

I had a haircut at this salon at the mall. Short with layers. Hairstylist made it puffy, VERY puffy. I mean popcorn-style poofaroonie. She de-puffed it a bit, but still not low enough for me to be considered "short" again. It defies gravity, cold, windy air, bride of Frankenstein hair...I hope I recover.

Santa, the Not-So-Great

2009-02-04T11:39:00.009-05:00

Thinking about a recent conversation I had with someone, led me to have a monologue about Santa Claus. I don't know how I got there, but I personally believe (Miss South Carolina style) that Santa is a prick. It's also "Satan" if you are really clever and noticed it, or are just plain dyslexic.

There's nothing really great about him, and to tell you the truth, most renderings of Santa make him look, how do you say? Pervy. Not just for the overly rosy cheeks (either rosacea, or more likely, he's a perpetual drunk), little beady eyes, or drooling, goofy look, but for an even bigger reason- his love for younger boys and girls. I mean, the guy's whole life revolves around children, handing out toys, talking about naughty stuff, and having them sit on his lap. Hello, Santa? It's me, Michael Jackson.

Here's why I think Santa's a hemorrhoid: he takes all the credit for the Holiday (no offense to JC…). It's already been scientifically proven that there's no way in hell, that the fat guy in the red pajamas, can efficiently deliver toys to all the kids in the world in one flippin' night (I don't need your rationalizations about secret portals, "helpers", etc, ok?). If that were true, the idiot would have been on The Apprentice, jumping on the couch with Oprah, written books about his expertise, and sold billions of copies. The money earned could be used for more toy-making, increasing wages, benefits, and handing out big bonuses to his workers, but since he’s an asshole, he would probably choose to use the cash to retire in a nice, expensive island somewhere, while laughing at his staff for being such huge suckers. Stick it to the man, Elves, stick it to the man!

It pisses me off to think that Santa uses height-challenged people (or are they kids disguised as adult little people? In which case, I'll be reporting you to the authorities for using child labor) to produce the toys, like indentured servants, while his flaccid derriere sits in a big throne, complaining how he's sooo busy. And what's with you, Elves? What happened to your pride and dignity? Who stole the "s" in "selves"? (Another word worth looking into: selves. You know those letters also spell "slaves", if you remove an "e" and replace it with an "a"?) Santa's just using you! He don't love you like that.

Where is PETA on this? Didn't we notice the whip that sadist dangles over the poor, innocent reindeer?

How come only certain kids receive gifts, while others (i.e. Jewish, Hindu, and so on) get zip?

How about the kids in Africa, do they know it's Christmastime at all? (line totally stolen from a popular song, but really, why do we assume others feel bad because they don't celebrate this holiday? OMG, I just read the lyrics, this song blows chunks!)

Know what, Satan Claws? You're on MY list now, bitch.

I Got Hit On...No, it Wasn't Good

2009-01-29T09:55:00.000-05:00

Ex-husband and I were on our way back to his house to exchange cars (he got into a bad accident, and I gave him the purple passion, while I collected my gold beauty), and he decided we should take a little detour.

Great idea, actually, because we ended up going to ReFlore (name changed) in Mine Hill, a place I totally adore. We go in, and who do I see running towards us? This retired gentleman (volunteer at the store) who had previously informed me that I was better off without my ex, and what did I need him for anyway? Sex? Obviously, I was hoping he didn't recognize me, but after an exchange of words, he did.

Needless to say, he started chatting me up, saying how much he enjoyed talking to me, tried to find my address in the "items requested" list, but I gave some excuse that I couldn't find my name there. Ex never even noticed Retired Man's blatant attempts at "seducing" me off my feet.

It got really uncomfortable (for me), and when we left the store, I took a sigh of relief. That is, until ex decided to go back for two items that he needed (covers for the cast-iron heaters) but had failed to bargain successfully prior to us leaving...I told him I would stay in the car, and if anyone (i.e. the smooth talker there) asked where I was, that I had stayed in the car to make a phone call. I know. Sucky excuse...

While Ex is doing his thing, the "gentleman" walks up to the car (I roll down the window, knowing it's a bad choice, but don't want to offend the chronically challenged person), and he tells me "I really want to see more of you, but I'm married". Like, ok, we would really have a chance at love, if he didn't have a wife. If he's like this in his "golden years", I wonder what he must have been like when he was younger!

I'm not so sure I'll ever go back to ReFlore...

Mii Injured :(

2009-01-25T20:20:00.003-05:00

I got my first Wii-related injury this weekend. I played mostly tennis, but did it for well over an hour, my wrist is killing me. It probably wouldn't be so bad if I didn't already have problems with my hands, but aiiiiieeee, it's painful! I can barely move it.

Eh, Little Meltdown Today

2009-01-23T19:09:00.003-05:00

Once in a while, I am overcome by emotions that lead me to cry like a little baby, whose pacifier was just removed. And that was my day. I have already been feeling so uneasy with my dental appointment today...Not only that I am going to have two crowns put in, something I've never done before and quite dreading having two fake things in my mouth, but the horrendous monetary setback...Insurance will cover maybe 25% of the cost, and I get to absorb the rest. It's good to be me.

I don't even know how it started, but remember getting annoyed by a sales rep, who has a reputation for being condescending, thinking information that was sent to me in error was beneficial to the person I forwarded it to, being late (the day before) to a meeting in which everyone knew exactly what was going on except me, and then the best part...thinking that I was in over my head with the search engine optimization part of my work.

The way I described it to a friend, is being at a party, listening to a joke, and you're the only one who doesn't get the punch line. You still laugh, because you don't want people to think you are slightly "we todd did", but deep down, you do feel that way.

You're not smart enough. I know I am. I don't think I've ever doubted it, but it's more than that. Not being good enough. My, it brings back memories...Like the first year with my father in the US, him looking at my report card, and asking what happened with gym? My only C. I won't even go with abandonment issues that "support" my notion of not being good enough, that would be an entire site full of crap.

By late morning, I was a mess waiting to happen. The lips started quivering, I knew what was happening next, so proceeded to make my way to the ladies' room. On the way, my boss stopped me to ask if I was ok, I said I would be, but I think the puffy eyes discredited my statement. I was kind of embarrassed, because I don't like crying in front of people, especially at work, but at the same time, it made me talk about what was wrong. I mean, she didn't know that I felt lost, how could she? I didn't say anything before. Good things are coming out of it though. For one, I'm getting lessons on the topic, and I vowed to re-dedicate myself to my job.

Uh-oh, Here Come the Dreams!

2009-01-21T10:14:00.007-05:00

I am unsure as to what has taken over me, but this morning, I had the most lovely, weird dream. Well, it was with a well known comedic actor. Very tall (at least, in my reverie, he was about a foot taller), and older than me. He was not "on" (as in "acting funny"), just very warm, sweet, caring, and absolutely wonderful. I was completely smitten.

We were, I suppose, "dating" but madly in love, and had gone to see a live show (theater? music?). There weren’t any seats at all, so everyone was either sitting on the floor or up against the walls. He had gone somewhere for a few minutes, and I remained to "reserve" our places.

He came back, our spot had been reduced (more people squeezing in). I put my arm around his waist, and he did the same, my head against him, it was just a great feeling.

At one point, we ignored the show totally, opting instead for alternating between gazing in each other's eyes, kissing, and hugging. I know, I know...it's so sappy it makes me want to make a stack of pancakes, and pour all the overly sweet feelings all over them.

Perhaps this dream is my mind's way of reminding me of real passion...without me rolling my eyes, feeling foolish or weak if I start believing in romance, or gagging at any hint of it.

Back on the Horse. I Think.

2009-01-19T18:16:00.001-05:00

One of my friends is getting her website ready to publish. This reminded me that I haven't really been updating much these days, so I better get my arse back on that horse (you know, the one in which you put a little quarter in, and it goes bouncy bouncy?)

I've been bad, o so bad, but it's a great excuse I have, really...Mom was here, top priority to spend time with her. Not on my website, blog, bills, or even my poor, sad friends.

Aiiiiieee. Dinner With the Ex

2008-12-27T18:25:00.001-05:00

Ok, I must have been so over him, I've even forgotten that today would have been our wedding anniversary. We had decided to have a Christmas dinner out, instead of exchanging gifts. He said he wanted to buy me books or anything I wanted, but that kind of sweet gesture should have been given out while we were married, instead of socks and booze.

We went to East Tokyo for Hibachi. He's never been, so I thought it would be a great idea. Surely, something had to happen. Luckily, it was minor, over ice-cubes in his water, to which I told him to suck it up, remove them from the glass, and enjoy the evening.

Christmas, YAY!

2008-12-25T18:21:00.000-05:00

I really love the whole holiday season, really. I just wished people didn't get so crazy around this time. I'm glad there weren't any loonies out there today, so I made my little trip to Nat's.

I've made so many Cheddar Bay biscuits these past few weeks, I decided to bring Hot Buttered Rum instead. I'm sure my fellow peeps were thankful (I was, eheheh). Didn't turn out as good as the first time I made it. The difference in brands, perhaps?

Anyhoo, had a wonderful time. I can't say much more about it, because it's always perfect to me. I just love being there, and I miss it sometimes.

Ooooooooooo the sappy tears...

Christmas Eve!

2008-12-24T18:19:00.000-05:00

Was supposed to go to Natalie's aunt's house on Christmas Eve. Remembered that it's very hard to park on her street/block/section, and since I had worked that day, got a case of the lazy bug and stayed home instead.

I am very sorry to miss it, because I know I always have fun when I'm there, but again, my ass did not want to move much that day. Ordered Chinese instead, and had a great evening regardless.

Ahhh Bad Kitties!

2008-12-23T16:55:00.005-05:00

It wasn't my imagination...Sunday night, I could have sworn I heard some commotion involving kitties and the christmas tree...Last night, same thing. Ting...ting...sounded like ornaments being swatted. I was half asleep, so I didn't bother to check.

This morning, I visit the bathroom, and see one of their toy balls in the sink. Ok, so they had fun while I was sleeping, that's always good. I do remember hearing them chasing each other while I was in and out of consciousness...

And then, I spot a bright pink and brown object in the bathtub. What da?! Why these little suckers! Apparently, one wrestled the tree for an ornament (a little sprig), and brought it into the tub to play with it.

Something tells me that it's Pixie. She likes to run around with items in her mouth. Just ask Sushi about his disappearing squirrely eheheheh (I take the laugh back...maybe he's checking my blog while I sleep, and taking note that I joked over something as serious and important to him...Mr. Squirrely...I better be ready for his payback for my comments, eeeek).

I Smell Rubber...

2008-12-22T18:14:00.002-05:00

Oy. Couldn't get out of my parking spot this morning. The smell of rubber inundated the purple passion...I was alone...Me, clutching my winter jacket, holding on tightly to my gloved hands, and thinking of this big, massive, clump of ice-crap, that was surrounding the car.

O how I love and loathe thee...

But I'm not ready to accept defeat from this wild creature that calls itself winter. I carefully laid kitty litter down and around the bulging tires, hopped back on the softly stained old car seat, gently caressed the automatic shift thingy, and put it in reverse...and drive...and reverse...until it finally freed itself from this imposing beast.

Ahhh, I need a cigarette.

I Think It's Raining in Hell

2008-12-19T17:25:00.003-05:00

O wait, those are tears! Yuppers. El Diablo has gained a conscience overnight. He called me this morning from his route, crying. He wants me back, can't stand going home to an empty house, etc...Well, where was all this realization before?

We've had this discussion a few times, and I reminded him that he chose this. I seem to recall he was really happy to not have me in his life ever again. Actually, I have his exact words recorded somewhere.

Don't get me wrong, I do feel sorry for him. I think that's it though. I no longer imagine a life with him, at least, not like before. I am hoping that we'll become friends one day, because I think we've been through so much together, that it would be strange to not be in each other's life.

Plus, I can still kick his ass at Skip-Bo, and that should count towards something.

Pixie - The Jumping Bean

2008-12-19T17:16:00.002-05:00

I've started noticing a pattern with Pixie, when it comes to being petted (forget cuddling, she's not up for it yet...kind of freaks out if I pick her up, poor kitty). As of today, she will only ask for hand massages if I'm in bed. Maybe she's a tad lesbiana, like Sashimi?

Anyhoo, I'll pet her for about 5-10 minutes (she purrs like a well-oiled machine), then she runs to the other side of the bed, where again, I pet her for another 10 minutes. Interestingly (to me) she repeats this over and over! Perhaps she senses that my right hand gets tired, so she switches sides? What a cutie! Ahhh, I'll keep her forever and ever!

Thanks, BOB. Really!

2008-12-18T17:34:00.001-05:00

Ok, I'm usually not so impatient, but I've been having huge beefs with customer service in some stores, that I had to take it out on one of them. Bob's Furniture was the lucky winner.

I ordered a sectional through their website. Received a call from a Wayne Dilton (name changed), explaining that the items I had requested, were out of stock. According to "Wayne", these would be available within one week (plus 2-3 days to arrange for delivery).
At this point, I'm thinking, wow, pretty nice! Not only is it not going to take long to get the sectional (two separate pieces), but someone from one of the stores is calling me to let me know. Unheard of these days!

And then the phone calls start...I don't get the automatic call, letting me know that the delivery can now be scheduled, so I call back. Chaise is available, but sleeper-sofa part is still on backorder. Please call back the following week. And so started the chase...Nobody knows when the sectional will arrive to their warehouse, no, they do not have the contact information for the manufacturer, call back again...it will be here before Thanksgiving, next week, definitely...not here yet? It's here, but waiting to get the "Ok" from the warehouse... Call next week...

There's a "Ask Bob" section on the website, so I composed a lengthy email to "Bob", asking why no one had any idea when my furniture was getting delivered, that I've been waiting over 5 weeks for it, learned for the first time this past week that the sleeper-sofa was a "special order", even though their website made no mention of it (that, and the fact that it was not listed as an out-of-stock item), also included a comment to "Wayne Dilton", giving him a special thanks for misrepresenting the truth (well, lying) by telling me I would have the furniture by
mid-November, when he knew that would never happen.

Eh, I think I might have been PMSing. Not that it's an excuse, but I really don't like being pushed around, or have barely any control over the situation. I did think that since I'm being very bitchy, that they might take a little revenge on the order, so I felt the need to add a disclaimer/threat: "The furniture does not get to my house BEFORE December 24^th, in perfect condition, nothing missing, you can very well expect me to provide a vivid account of my experience to anyone who’ll listen. Had I known this sale would be credited to the Totowa NJ office, which has had bad consumer reviews, I would never have placed my order online."

In retrospect, I think I might have been a bit too harsh, but I really wanted the furniture in before mom comes to visit. Couldn't they have just told me it was a special item that would take an extra 4 weeks to get? So I could either select something else that was readily available or agree to wait? All in all, I think I did learn another good lesson...Contact the store to make sure the item is in stock!

Today, it arrived! All in one piece! (2, technically). Was the wait worth it? Yes! It's pretty sweet looking, and comfy. Kitties are really happy with their new beauty-sleep areas! If my ass cheeks may say so, they are quite ecstatic as well.

Celebration of Life

2008-12-16T17:51:00.007-05:00

Today, my friends at work and I went to a Celebration of Life event, in memory of our friend, Barbara, who recently passed away. I can't imagine the act of someone no longer being physically "here". It really feels like she went on vacation, but just hasn't returned.

"Death" just seems such a far-fetched concept. You ARE no longer. It brings about the same incomprehension as trying to come to terms with the fact that the universe is infinite. How is it possible? The more you think about it, the harder it feels like you have a grip on the reality of existence.

How are you gone? I understand it, in terms of a life cycle, and believe you live on in other people's experiences and memories, but you can't return? It's just so final. I don't think I can accept it.

Aside from sobbing like a ninny throughout the church ceremony (concentrate, concentrate...o here's the snot...try not to sniffle...how many lights are there in the huge star hanging by the altar...sniff...sniff...), all I kept thinking was "she never colored her hair blonde". I remember, the first time she went through the treatments and her hair was growing back, that she would go wild and color it. She never did.

I never knew Barbara's life as told by the photos that were posted of her in the church, or by the stories her friends and family shared. I also didn't realize she was just as fond of cinnabons as I am.

Crouching Tiger...Crouching...Tiger...Clench! CLENCH!

2008-12-09T11:06:00.000-05:00

Note to self: next time I am in dire need to go to the Ladies' room at work, go a little sooner, ok? Clenching the cheeks and speed walking towards the bathroom, is o-so very obvious.

Reconciliation? Hells No!

2008-12-08T10:08:00.004-05:00

Ex called me this morning to tell me he had checked the fluids in the purple passion. He'd had a doctor's appointment (right across the street from where I work), and stopped by to do some maintenance.

He said he wanted both cats back, that I could just keep the black one. Apparently, he's lonely. Also mentioned he wanted me to move back in with him. O really? I told him that would be a "no" on the cats, that he wanted his mommy and daddy here with him, but no pets, since they consider them dirty, and unfit to live with...

As far as a reconciliation, hell would have to freeze over first. Not that I believe in the existence of such place, but work with me here. I told him he got exactly what he wanted. El diablo said that he messed up a lot of things. No?! Really?! I wouldn't have guessed.

It's far too late for me to even imagine the possibility of being with him again. I can't get back the time I wasted on him, and that's what I probably regret the most...The last few years. If I think back on all the bad moments, I think the hospital period was when I should have ended it. I remember talking to my mom on the phone about it; explaining how unsupportive he was. What kind of person would call someone who's in the hospital "lazy"? He came to see me once, during those 4 days. The day he came, he was on the normal rampage of how I can't do anything, that I'm just lazy...He got me so upset, I threatened to call a nurse and have him thrown out.

The whole rationale given at that time, was that he didn't know how to deal with the fear of loss, but at some point, don't you have to push your feelings aside, and care for the person you supposedly love?

Just Take My Wallet...

2008-12-06T10:56:00.001-05:00

Another trip to the dentist...I had to have posts inserted in two teeth. Thanks, Dr. K (former dentist & associates) for ruining a healthy tooth of mine, by performing a root-canal on the wrong one.

At least, now I've semi-conquered the fear of going to the dentist, after such a bad experience with my ex-doctor. In the new practice, they really take good care of you (well, it does come at a hefty price...). At first, Dr. K (who's, by the way, marrying a fellow Portuguese patriot!), wanted to go in without anesthesia, but since I was flinching so much (ahhhh the anticipation of pain...), we decided to go to plan B --- anesthesia and an x-ray in the middle to find out if the posts were inserted properly.

Over $1000 later, my wallet seems very light... Thank goodness for dental insurance! I'll submit my claim on Monday!

Wow, Another Day Off!

2008-12-05T10:50:00.001-05:00

I am so totally in love with my new place, even if I still don't have couches yet... and I'm so adoring this time off. I can't believe how much work I'm getting done, and I don't even feel sickened by it yet!

I bought some commercial grade runner (I know, not the prettiest thing...but hey, it's durable and gets the job done) yesterday, and today, I cut it to fit around the water heater in the bedroom adjoining closets. Perfect! Now, I can actually start organizing the space!

Running on a Spare Tire

2008-12-04T10:36:00.001-05:00

I've got the donut on! And I'm on a mission... Went to Mowes (name changed) today, to find me some light-switch plates (replacing 7), various heavy-duty screws, a piece of plywood (for the future location of the kitties' litterbox)...

I realy shouldn't be allowed to shop anymore. I'm actually tired of needing this or that every other day. My bank account is shrinking by the minute! Unfortunately for the account, I saw a 50% off sign on all Christmas decorations, including the little villages...

Damned cute stuff...

Cars...It's a Love-Hate Relationship

2008-12-03T10:01:00.000-05:00

Just great...Today, I was supposed to be off from work (Wed-Fri), but since there were too many things going on with my webcasts and what-nots, I decided it would be in my best interest to get my ass to work. Can't do vacation whilst thinking of the work that will be awaiting me.

Anyhoo, derriere is dressed, ready to go. And I do go...well...until I leave my parking lot at home.

Flat tire. Flipping great. Gotta call el diablo to get it fixed. Don't really want to call AAA for something that the ex can get done. Well, technically, I do have the knowledge to change a tire myself, but I've never had to do it. I thank Mr. Q from my all-girls catholic high-school for the lesson. I wonder how he's doing? Last time I heard, he had had an affair with a student...But I digress...

Rest of day, fortunately, went a whole lot better.

It's a Sad Day for Carpet Cleaners

2008-12-03T09:49:00.000-05:00

Email sent to a carpet cleaner asking for a quote to do my place:

Hi:

I would like to find out how much you charge for your carpet cleaning services. It's for a one-bedroom condo (first floor, no steps): bedroom + closet area, "hall", living-room, and two small area rugs (biggest one is maybe 5x4 at the most).

I've just moved in, so I do not know the origin of most of the stains (except 1/2 dozen spots or so I can vouch for*), and am guessing the previous owner not only had poor vision, but a distaste for cleaning, because the carpet looks like it's never seen shampoo.

*The oldest of my cats didn't take the recent move so well, and he took revenge on the carpet, by throwing up on maybe six areas, and expressing his resentment by urinating in one spot.

Thank you,
Ana

Er...will I be hearing from them, ever?

Danged Curtain Rods!!!

2008-11-30T15:55:00.001-05:00

My project for Sunday was to re-position* the curtain rod in the living-room, and then install two in the bedroom. Once I got the gist of it, it was pretty easy. I didn't even measure or anything, and it came out really well.

Once up, the curtains were easy to add. My only issue, was that I was placing curtains over vertical blinds, so there isn't much space between the mechanism for the blinds, and the rod...so "pulling back the curtains" will take some effort.

In any case, I'm checking another item off my list, yay!

* eh, I placed them way too high...I was trying to avoid covering the electric heaters...the end result (before the "makeover") looked like I had placed a pair of pants all the way up to the chest, tied it nicely with a belt that was 3 sizes too big, and then added long socks to cover the now-exposed ankles. So sad...

Getting Tired of His Ass

2008-11-29T15:29:00.001-05:00

Ok, no, I'm not talking about the handyman...He actually called this morning, and then came over to replace the flooring that was rotted, and installed the new water heater.

What I'm getting tired of, is trying to be graceful towards the ex-husband, who is still dangling the money he owes me, like a carrot, right in front of my eyes. I really did think we could remain "friendly", but he's making it impossible.

I am still driving the purple passion, because HE insisted. I wanted to give the car back, many times, and he said no, for me to continue using it, because it gets great mileage. How did I fall for that trick again?

Sure, it is true...with a full tank, I can go one month. In my Mazda? Maybe 2 weeks...it's a guzzler. Plus, he was supposed to get the heater fixed, and never did. That was two years ago. I know, I know...My car, my decision. I have no excuse now (before, it was I would never hear the end of it, for going to a mechanic without consulting el in-house mecanico ---aka him). It's either getting ripped off at a garage, or getting el diablo more involved in my life. I think it's time I get robbed by a stranger.

Anyhoo, there was another story here, but I've digressed a bit in the last paragraph...He took the purple passion, and I took his Toyota (we made the "exchange" at Commerce Bank, where I was running an errand). He told me if I turned off the engine in his other car, I might not be able to start the car up again.

This just had to coincide with my need to meet up with Frank, the handyman, so we could get plywood from Worm Depot (name changed). I took my chances with the car. And I failed! Uh-oh...I called H up, and asked what would happen if his car wouldn't start. Instead of giving me instructions, he proceeds with the "mother f*cker" this, "f*cking b*tch", "ugly lazy head" that, and the ever so endearing terms he calls me. Then he proceeds to tell me what I'm supposed to do, but he keeps screaming on the cell, so it's hard to follow...

Luckily for me (Frank had no idea this was happening; he had come separately in his truck), a young couple parks right next to me, as I'm holding a piece of wire that somehow, I'm supposed to start the battery up with, trying to listen to the directions as he's practically crying now..., and the girl tells me the guy, who's with her, is a mechanic and will take a look at the car for me.

Ah...thank goodness for these small coincidences...and for the kindness of strangers. The guy starts up the car in like a second, and then I go in my merry way, hanging up on him, when he tries to call again for a bit more yelling.

After el diablo returns from Newark, with the purple passion, he calls me up to tell me he's in my driveway. I pretend to be on my way out (kind of a "just waiting for you to return so I can finish my errands" type of deal), because he wants to say hello to Sushi, then he wants to use the bathroom...He wants to go inside, that's what he wants...I tell him to go home. He's got a bathroom there (two very nice ones, even...). The last mental picture I have of that scene, is him with his arms up, and starting to curse. I put my foot on the gas, and didn't look back.

Did We Break Up?

2008-11-28T15:27:00.000-05:00

I'm out of sorts with this whole handyman thing. He hasn't called! I'm wondering what I may have done to upset him, then I get angry and resentful for giving him so much power. Is he with me? Is he not? Is this his way of breaking up with my to-do-list?

Arghhhhhhhhh! I hate not knowing... That's it. He doesn't call me this week, I may have to start shopping around for people...But he's so good and affordable...Should I give him another chance?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T15:12:00.000-05:00

I went to my friend Natalie's house. I can't believe I have been going over for the holidays for the last, what, 15 years? Holy crap! I should really come down to visit every now and then, because I miss being around Nat and her family. I'm such an old fart, always thinking of the long drive, as if it were really that great of a distance!

I made cheddar bay biscuits, yummers! I wish Thanksgiving came around more than once a year, because Nat's family always makes it so great, and I'm not just talking about all the juicy foods...I think they are the only thing I miss about Newark - well that, and illegal cable.

Unidentified Treat

2008-11-25T15:03:00.001-05:00

The next door neighbors' fuzzy multi-colored cat (the one that taunts my little prince) caught something that was once very alive. All I could see was a small head, and lots of guts.

She gave me the evil eye, so I didn't really want to come any closer. Perhaps she thought I would want to steal her meal? No thanks. If I want any rodents, I'll take my chances at a McRomal's (name changed to protect the identity of the occasional offender).

Where is the Turdinator???

2008-11-24T17:44:00.002-05:00

I was concentrating very hard, in the ladies' room at work today, and thought we haven't had an "incident" in a very long time. No turds placed inappropriately. Hmmm...Donde esta el Turdinator? Kind of makes me want to list all the muchachas that have left around the same time the turds disappeared...Coincidence? I think not.

Imaginary Restraint

2008-11-23T18:06:00.009-05:00

Lately, I've been questioning myself...How did I get so fuddy duddy with everything? Why is it that I always restrain myself from being who I really am? What holds me back?

I feel old and republican, two things I'm definitely not. Where have I gone wrong? Well, that's just a rhetorical question here people...I think I have a tiny idea, ehehehe...I can easily blame it on living with a negative person for so long, but ultimately, I had the choice to leave him, even if I thought I couldn't then.

I let myself go. I let myself down.

Back when I started dating my ex-husband, I made a somewhat conscious decision to not have friendships with guys, one very important to me in particular, for fear of it being judged as "inappropriate" (or was it that I knew I would never be able to resist him? Probably that...).

I stopped worrying about myself, and dedicated my time and effort to a relationship that was wrong from the begining. And to think I didn't listen to the little voice inside that said I didn't have to marry him, just because I told him I would...Why did I ever feel like I had to? Such sense of obligation and duty...

I know this may seem like bits and pieces of something I can't quite put down on "paper", but I can't get myself to say it more directly. I keep thinking of a past relationship, but for which purpose?

I think of being with someone who writes little love notes, treats me like I'm made of the best stuff on earth, can't believe he is with me, fills my world with passion, longing, innocence, and gives me a sense of security and belonging...Encourages me to be imperfect.

Happy Birthday to Me! Where Are My Naked Men?

2008-11-22T17:47:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday, happy birthday...
Happy Birthday to me!

Who wrote this song? What a wild imagination, such creativity...Ok, down to business...Today, I got swept away into an evening of fun! Let's see...went to Sogo's in Denville for dinner. Had a great experience (very nice decor), food was ok (still not as good as ol' East Tokyo!), but the Chef, Frank (seriously. that WAS the name on his tag...) provided lots of entertainment, and I was in great company anyway, so all was good!

Right after, went to see Role Models, which I absolutely almost pissed my pants. Wait, I was wearing a dress, so cross that out.

As if that weren't enough, went to my friend's house, where there was a nice display of more food, a bit of alcohol (giggle giggle), coffee, and Skip-Bo. Yeah baby, one of my favorite card games ever! I won too, and it wasn't just because it was my birthday, eheheheh

Am I Dating the Handyman?

2008-11-21T17:58:00.003-05:00

Ok, no I'm not, but I was waiting to find out if he was coming to the condo to repair the floor and replace the water heater.

But is this what it feels like? Waiting for his phone call? Getting nervous that he's not going to call back? Maybe I didn't pay him enough? Should I have tipped him?

Early Birthday Celebrations!

2008-11-20T17:54:00.000-05:00

Another reason why I loves me the people at work...Besides the fact that they know how to party, that is...they decorate your cube with lots of stuff (I have to limbo to get to my desk), make you feel special, and take you out to lunch. Cool beans!

We went to Thai Nam Phet. Oooo delicious pad thai. I have to try to make it at home!

To top it off, I took a half day today, and a full day tomorrow. Yiiiippppiiieeee!

He's Withholding Text

2008-11-19T18:02:00.000-05:00

I've been feeling so at peace lately...The birds are singing, my place feels like home to me...Something is different...Ah, yes...el Diablo hasn't called ever since we had that fight on Saturday.

Weee Weee Wahhh!!!

2008-11-15T16:50:00.004-05:00

That is the ridiculous sound of my ex-husband complaining. He came over to touch-up the touch-ups in the ceiling, which I really could have done, but he seems to want to do it so badly...and of course, as soon as he came in, he noticed the new water heater, planted, right there in the living-room.

"What's this?" A water heater, I responded, and explained (as if I were still married to him and needed to rationalize my purchases...) that the old one is corroded, and needs to be replaced. "Who told you you needed to buy a new one?" Pardonnez-moi, petit hole de ass? I'm pretty sure if something is fucking leaking, has rust all over the bottom, and has rotted the closet floor, where it's located, that it needs to be ripped off, no? I'm just guessing.

I brushed him off, saying I have a person doing that for me, and that must have set off some alarms in the back of his bird-brain. He started playing the childish games he used to play, hoping that, somehow, I'm caught again in his web of stupidity..."How much did you pay for that?", none of your business...But apparently, that answer wasn't good enough for him, and it must have fed into his little frenzy...

All of a sudden, I feel like I'm back again, in the old house, defending my way of being. He starts going off, saying I don't appreciate him (what???), and all the work (???) he's been doing for me for the last 3 weeks...He kicks the bag of food I had prepared for him (yeah, what a real man he is...), and then I proceed to evict him from my presence.

I just didn't like where the conversation was going. He seems to think that ever since I got the condo, that all of a sudden I think my schmidt don't stink...Well, it don't...It smell like roses.

Pfffft.

The Troublemaker

2008-11-11T17:40:00.000-05:00

My little prince is being taunted by the neighbor's cat. The cat, let's call him/her "the troublemaker", is an outdoor kitty, who prances around jumping from window sill to window sill making fun of my babies for being locked up.

Well, I was coming home from work today, and saw the troublemaker laughing it up at my Sushi's expense. Then all of a sudden, they start "fighting" (well, there was a window between them), and it just makes me giggle, because both of them remind me of a character Michael McDonald played on Mad TV, Ron? Kind of fought by flinging his arms awkwardly? Just think of the typical cat fight, paws and all...

Anyhoo, the two cats were in the middle of the action, when the troublemaker, loses his/her footing, and falls into the bushes. I guess you had to see it, but it was really cute in a slightly retarded way. Poor bunnies.

O What a Beautiful Morning...O What a Beauti...BOINK!

2008-11-08T17:31:00.002-05:00

Although the first time I saw my new condo, I was slightly horrified, I did find the nice big window in the living room to be a great thing. It's actually one big piece of glass, with a window on each side. I mean, that's the only way I know how to describe it.

Sooo this morning, as I was prepping the house for visits (the guy who's going to be replacing my water heater, eheheh), I opened the vertical blinds, and just took a moment to admire the beauty of this cloudy day. The leaves are floating through the air, making gentle rustling sounds, and then...BOINK.

Yep...red cardinal...flew right into the window...Guess I need to find some anti-bird-crashing devices for the place. Not to worry, birdy was ok.

Promotion and New Title…A Bazillion Pesos. Funny Mother…Priceless!

2008-11-05T16:03:00.001-05:00

Momsie called yesterday morning. I had sent her and Gil an email with my new address and phone number, along with a note on my promotion. She called to congratulate me, and to check on how I’m doing at the new place.

I told her, at my new position, I will be making x-amount more. She asked “dollars”? I’m pretty sure I don’t get paid in pesos, but I knew what she meant (dollars or did I convert the amount into Swiss Francs so it made more sense to her?). She said it wasn’t bad! I said “x-amount a year”. “Oh.” Nah, she still thought it was good stuff, and she was so happy for me.

We moved on to discuss mi new casa, and she asked if there was anything in particular I would like for my chateau. I said something for the walls would be really nice to have, like a painting? I have a few that one of my “stepfather’s” nephews (?...don’t know his exact relationship to Gil) did that my mom passed on to me. Anything for decorating would be wonderful!

And then, I mentioned the color of each room…Ahhh, I am sure she will grow to love them…She started throwing words like “warm colors”, “oranges”, “yellows”…By the way I described the paint colors, she says I’ve chosen too dark ones…Eh, not necessarily. The bedroom is light bluish-gray, the bathroom buttery-yellow, the kitchen phlegm-green (eheehhe, it’s nicer than that!), and the living room medium blue with a touch or two of gray. Not too shabby, I think.

She's Got the Squirrely!!! Let the War Begin.

2008-11-04T09:55:00.009-05:00

This morning, Pixie got a hold of Sushi's Squirrely. Don't know if I ever mentioned this, but Squirrely is my oldest kitty's FAVORITE toy. He loves it so much, I can't believe he hasn't humped it yet (see the look he gave me, when I took his picture? It's the "go ahead, try to pry this beauty out of my sharp nails. I dare ya").

I've been sleeping with an eye open ever since.

To my shock and horror, I see Squirrely in Pixie's little paws, and she's fighting the squirrel, like it's going out of business. And then...then...she proceeded to prance around, with Squirrely between her teeth.

Now, it's bad enough that she has been kung-fu fighting Sushi's bed, but now, she's taken possession of his stuffed mate. In her defense, she's just a little kitten, discovering the world of toys...She's so cute! Where the heck is my camera? I gotta take some photos of the action.

What da?!!!

2008-10-26T11:40:00.003-04:00

I know I say that a lot. A whole lot. My first morning at the new place, I am half asleep, the other half slowly waking up to some weird noises coming from my upstairs neighbors...Eh? I guess it was inevitable, but I think I may have heard them doing "something". There was some squeaking, and he sounded like he was lifting something heavy, kind of like "heeeee heeeeee". Is this was I think it is??? Some Barry White action? And that was it? Geeeeeeez, kind of quiet people.

Lovely.

Saturday Night Fever...and Flu???

2008-10-25T11:43:00.004-04:00

I must have the flu or something...I feel miserable, but then again, I've been "moving" for like a week now. Everything hurts, and I'm in a foul mood.

Today was the day I picked up the kitties, and officially moved. I couldn't go into the new place without them. Surprisingly, Sushi was the easiest to catch, although he threw in some drama, by smooshing his face against the pet carrier, letting out a sad meow. Such an actor.

Sashimi was crying like she was being kidnapped by a group of gang members. Sheeeesh. She got Pixie so traumatized, she was catatonic. The two of them went into hiding in one of the closets. Lemme tell ya, I don't remember having a black cat before, but these puppies are hard to find in the dark!

Ex came to the house to paint. I was on my way out to get food, litter, marijuana (aka Catnip), etc for my kids. It was raining hard (like, cats and dogs...), I was carrying a cart-full of stuff, could barely see my way to the car. And then, it happened...I broke the key to the car...Yes, the purple passion became keyless. Cripes! At least, it broke in the trunk lock, and not anywhere else.

Pain-in-the-ass came to the rescue, and unlike most normal people, instead of looking for the purple car first, he parked his own, and in the rain, went looking for me...

The conversation on the cell phone went something like this (well, technically this was the second phone call...The first one he made, was to ask where he turned to go into Petsmart---he's been there a few times---he also practically cried over the key being broken, and started telling me off, then proceeded into a monologue over how hard his life is, that he wants to kill himself, and that's when I hung up on him):

Ex: Where do I turn?
Me: What?
Ex: Do I make a right or a left?
Me: I just saw you park your car in the next row. I can see you. I'm in the car.
Ex: Where are you???
Me: In THE CAR.
Ex: You are not listening to me, O stupid. Do I make a left or a right?
Me: Go back towards your car. (Mind you, I had been beeping the horn all this time)
Ex: Come out, I cannot see you.
Me: It's fucking raining, I'm not getting out!
Ex: O, I see you.

And I married him? I should've had my head examined.

I'm an Ana-Lyst!!!

2008-10-24T16:04:00.002-04:00

It happened! It finally happened!!! I was promoted and given an appropriate title!!! So fitting too...Marketing Ana-Lyst, eheheheh I'm trying to get past the anal-yst part, so I'm looking at it from my point of view as "Ana".

I'm so excited, I think I just might pee in m'a pants!!! I can relax a little now. I can't wait to tell my mom and sister. I just know when I tell my mom, she's going to ask me the amount of the raise, and after I tell her, she'll say something like "a month?", and I'll say "no, a year". She's so cute.

O I'm in Big BIG Trouble...

2008-10-15T10:46:00.007-04:00

I've posted the kitten's picture and description in the building where I work. Maybe I can find someone nice to adopt her. I got so excited over finding her a home, that I decided to pamper the kitty last night.

I went to Petsmart, got a few cleaning supplies, along with a new black collar with "diamonds". It matches the ones I have for Sushi (teal) and Sashimi (pink). I gave her a towel bath, but then decided the best way to take the outdoorsy smell out of her, would be with a nice bath. I used baby shampoo, and she smells delicious! I gave her a mani-pedi as well. She looks so pretty!

Ah dang it, I'm in trouble, aren't I...

Last Sunday at the House, I think!

2008-10-12T10:39:00.001-04:00

Ok, so this should be my last weekend at my little dream home. I've been packed for quite a while, and have not felt sad for leaving in a looooong time.

Ex, on the other hand, is feeling the pressures of living on his own, and he hasn't even started. This evening, as he was putting his clothes away, he sadly asked who was going to buy him socks, shirts, sweat pants, for him now. I smiled and said, "not me!" Same goes for his requests for cakes, cookies, and everything else. You've got two hands. Use them for something else other than scratching your ass!

Sucker.

Just When I Think He Can No Longer Surprise Me...

2008-10-10T11:28:00.001-04:00

You know how you see something wrong, but your mind just can't quite piece it together for a while? That is exactly what I experienced when I got home. Ex's car was parked on the street, there were other vehicles around, and a huge truck in the driveway.

My brain could not compute. Something happened to the house? Maybe the big maple tree is being yanked out??? What da feck! I smelled tar. He's having the driveway paved. Say what?!

Ok, I'm a bit fuming, and I'll explain why. Where did he find the money to have it paved? The lowest quote we've gotten was for about $7,000-$8,000 (it's a big driveway). According to Ex, he has no money (so he says), but still owes me quite a chunk from the divorce settlement, so what gives?

Turns out, he fell for the "o, we've got extra materials, we'll only charge you this much" line. Ok, so he did get an excellent deal, but for one, it is said that the materials used are no longer at the perfect temperature for pouring by the time they hit the next house, and that this is sort of a scam. Fine. It's his problem. Mine is that he could have used that money for O-say, pay me back??? Just an idea.

Trying Something Different

2008-10-09T23:36:00.004-04:00

Many of my attempts to divert ex-husband's attention away from me, fail. What kind of attention? The kind that makes me frustrated and want to throw sand at his eyes, stick a pencil up his nose, and call him satan. Yes, that kind...

Some examples? O say, I've been waiting all week to watch the new episode of Desperate Housewives, and by some odd coincidence, it just so happens that that is the time he must, urgently, discuss the chores he has to finish before going to bed (make sandwich, hang uniform for the next day. That's it. Seriously.) Obviously, the best time to discuss this is during the show, NOT during the commercial breaks. Annoying? Ummm...Yes. NEXT!

When he "pets" me. Ahhh where's that danged pencil??? Especially now, that we are divorced, and he really shouldn't be touching me at all...I've always hated it, and have told him a bagillion times that I am not a fucking dog, he still tries to run his hand on top of my head. Today, I had to try something new, just to be a little surprising. I hissed at him. It worked!

Smitten for Kitten

2008-10-09T12:10:00.003-04:00

The little black kitten, whom I've named Lilly, is still here. I feel so bad for her. I brought her inside again, cuddled her, kissed her, o boy, I'm in big trouble here...

No. I must resist the temptation. I cannot have another cat in a one-bedroom condo. I can't! She is adorable and so warm...Gorgeous black fur, big golden eyes...Sniff...My heart is breaking for Lilly. I am smitten for kitten...

Sushi did not take it too well though. I picked Lilly, and I walked around the house with her. Sushi, upon seeing this, proceeded to pee in our paper recycle stash. He just can't take change. He's going to paint the new condo yellow!

Super-Kitty???

2008-10-08T12:07:00.000-04:00

It couldn't possibly have been the kitty...Nah...She's too little, right? I woke up this morning, my first thought being, is the kitty in the trap? I went to see. Ummm, somehow, the trap had "moved" from one side of the deck, to the other (I suppose across the bridge?) Either we have a super-cat on our hands, or a raccoon stopped by for some treats. Yep, must be the latter. All the food was gone, the trap door shut, and no raccoon inside. Little bastard must be laughing his heavily-lined eyes off.